


the truth of my life

by samegawaflood



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Character Study, Dark Thoughts, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Slow Burn, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2020-05-16 21:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samegawaflood/pseuds/samegawaflood
Summary: Souji pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked. Somehow, even after all the antics of the past year, this was what was almost too much for him. “Almost” being the key word.Alternatively: Souji has to relive his whole year in Inaba after failing to get the true ending.





	1. life is simple in the moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> What’s happening everybody, I’ve been wanting to write this fic for a long time after having read multiple time travel fics. Time travel stories, in any kind of media, are one of my favorite tropes, so this is something I’m very happy writing. This fic will mainly revolve around Souji’s experiences throughout the year as well the formation of his and Yosuke’s relationship. Many things will also be different from how they are in the game. I hope you all enjoy it!

_ March 21, 2012 _

 

He sits on worn, cross-stitched seats as Inaba leaves him and thinks about where it all went wrong.

 

They had found out the killer, or at least, who they thought was the killer. Namatame had confessed in the hospital room to the kidnappings, and while it was difficult, so difficult, they hadn’t thrown him in the TV to be killed by his own shadow. Despite that, the team hadn’t heard him out on his story. Why should they? He had kidnapped all his friends and his little sister. He had killed Mayumi Yamano and Saki Konishi; he wanted all of them dead... right?

 

_ “Save them... I wanted to save them!”  _

 

Namatame’s words echo through his mind. How was kidnapping and putting them into the TV saving them? 

 

Souji scratches the tops of his hands, anxious. 

 

Were they right in their choice to not hear him out? 

 

When Souji had boarded the train from the platform, his friends had all been smiling at him, but their smiles didn’t quite reach their eyes. There was a sort of emptiness in their eyes, like they weren’t satisfied with the outcome of the events. The friends he had grown to care about more than anything... he knows he had disappointed them. While Nanako was still alive, Teddie had disappeared after Namatame confessed, and Inaba was still shrouded in fog. 

 

The town he had grown to love and cherish this past year had slipped completely out of his grasp and into darkness, and it was all his fault. 

 

His heart felt hollow, and his head ached, and he decided to nap against the window of the train to escape the feeling. Souji glanced out the window before he closed his eyes. He could no longer see Inaba. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


He dreams about the past few months. 

 

_ Nanako in Heaven trying to justify her father’s absence from her life, Namatame holding her tight, convinced he was helping her.  _

 

_ The sound of Nanako’s heart monitor flatlining, the girls’ muffled cries and Kanji’s wails surrounding him as Souji’s world fell apart, piece by piece.  _

 

_ His anger, rising within him like a kettle on a stove, threatening to boil over any second. His thoughts, fueled by rage.  _

 

_ Rise, Yukiko, and Chie’s voices in the hospital room, pleading with him to not become a murderer as he held Namatame up to the TV. Namatame’s haunting screams as Souji held him, and his hysterical breathing when he released him back onto the hospital floor. Yosuke’s strong hands pushing him against the wall, and his thundering voice demanding an answer as to why they shouldn’t kill Namatame.  _

 

_ Teddie’s farewell note in his hands, heavy, as if it would break his arms in half at any moment.  _

 

_ The awkward and tense air that began to surround the Investigation Team, the fleeting feeling in Souji’s heart.  _

 

_ His violent sobs into his pillow every night, alone, as Nanako remained in the hospital, and Dojima worked even longer hours at the police station, determined at all costs to find justice in this case. _

 

It hurt, it hurt, _it_ _hurt._

 

Even in his dreams, Souji could feel strong pains in his chest, worsening with every heartbeat. He felt himself fall, descending at an increased speed every second. He didn’t care, he didn’t...

  
  


_ “Foolish...” _

 

Souji’s body hit something, hard, all the air leaving his lungs. He was paralyzed, only able to look up at where he had fallen from, a bright light shining from above. He couldn’t identify the voice speaking. 

 

_ “So foolish.. The truth you so viciously sought, was it nothing to you? Your free, selfless heart, once determined to save those that needed it most, why did you neglect its wishes? The potential you gained on your journey hangs on by a thread, wanting to be cut more than anything. Why do you hide from the justice you hold so close to your heart, he who invites?”  _

 

What? What was happening to him? Who was speaking? 

 

Souji tries so hard to move, but it’s impossible. It’s as though someone had chained him down and forced him to stop breathing. His head was beginning to feel foggy; he felt weak and frail.

 

_ “I bestow this chance upon you. Pursue the truth until the very end, never letting your heart falter. Do not regress back into the cowardice that so easily finds you, lest the fog cloud your vision once again.” _

 

Chance? Cowardice? Was this his own voice he was hearing? Souji couldn’t ponder anymore, as the worst pain he’s ever felt suddenly came upon him. His head was splitting open, he was sure of it. All he could hear was a deafening screech, encompassing him from every angle. This must be the price he’s paying for abandoning Inaba in the fog, the truth of the TV world remaining covered and looming in the back of everyone’s heads. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


The screeching noise that seemed like it blew his eardrums suddenly ceased. The train had stopped. 

 

Souji awoke, still in the train car, but...

 

He was on the floor. 

 

His ears were ringing violently and his entire body was vibrating, very shaken up from the dream. 

 

He had to take a few moments, but after a while, he pushed himself up to a standing position, grabbing his luggage from the overhead, and trying to make sense of the nightmare he just had. 

 

The train had stopped, so that must mean he had reached his station. 

 

_ Time to go back to my old life,  _ Souji thought, frowning deeply. 

 

The train announcer’s voice came over the intercom. 

 

“Yasoinaba Station. This is Yasoinaba Station.”

 

Yaso... Inaba...? Did the train have to go back? 

 

He would have to switch lines in order for that to happen, so there was no way...

 

Souji glanced out the window and gasped. 

 

It was indeed Inaba he was looking at, but...

 

There was no fog.

 

It was bright and beautiful, sakura petals falling everywhere he looked. The Samegawa could just barely be seen if he looked out far enough, and everything was so  _ green.  _

____

 

____

What was going on?

____

 

____

His friends, as well as Dojima, were no longer at the platform. Nanako wasn’t there, having been absent due to being in the hospital. The announcer’s voice interrupted his thoughts, once again stating they had arrived at Yasoinaba Station. 

____

 

____

Souji made his way off the train, his head buzzing and legs wobbling, insides stirring around violently. He was going to throw up any second. 

____

 

____

He was absolutely bewildered. The air outside was fresh and clean, a stark contrast to what he had breathed maybe 30 minutes ago. Actually, what was the time?

____

 

____

Souji pulled out his phone to check and nearly dropped it. Flashing back at his face was something he couldn’t believe. 

____

 

____

_ Monday, April 11th, 2011.  _

____

_ 15:51 _

____

 

____

His first thought was that his phone had somehow malfunctioned on the train. He tried to go in his settings to change it, but it wouldn’t let him change the date that far ahead to something like March 2012. 

____

 

____

He pockets his phone and decides to ask a passerby instead. 

____

 

____

“Excuse me, can you please tell me what the date and time are?” he asks a middle-aged woman with a briefcase. 

____

 

____

“It’s April 11th, and,” she pulls out her phone, “it’s almost 4PM.”

____

 

____

Souji stares at her, dumbfounded. 

____

 

____

“Are you tricking me?” he asks, verging on panic.

____

 

____

The woman looked at Souji like he had three heads and began to walk away briskly. 

____

 

____

Souji’s breaths were coming fast and he decided to ask another person, but they said the same thing. 

____

 

____

He asks another, and another, but they all say the same exact words. 

____

 

____

“It’s April 11th, 3:53PM.”

____

 

____

Souji couldn’t take it any longer and made a beeline for the bathrooms at the station. 

____

 

____

As soon as he closed the stall door in the men’s bathroom, he threw up. He was on his knees, retching into the toilet, though it was mostly fluids, as he couldn’t find it in himself these days to eat much. 

____

 

____

Was this one big trick everyone was playing on him? Was this really Inaba as he had left it 30 minutes ago? How did it change so quickly? 

____

 

____

His thoughts suddenly took a turn.

____

 

____

What if he really had traveled back a year? He recalled his dream on the train. The voice in the dream had talked about a “chance”... was the person who was speaking the one responsible for him traveling back in time?

____

 

____

He checked his phone again, and sure enough, the date was the same. 

____

 

____

_ Monday, April 11, 2011 _

____

_ 15:59 _

____

 

____

He opened his message inbox and there sat a text from Dojima he had received almost an entire year ago. 

____

 

____

_ Meet us outside Yasoinaba Station at 4PM.  _

____

> Sent at 14:56, April 11, 2011. 

____

 

____

His head hurt so badly. This couldn’t be real. 

____

 

____

He heard someone enter the bathroom and tried to steady his breathing as much as he could, not wanting the person to have to call for medical attention.

____

 

____

_ Just think about this for a minute, _ Souji thought. 

____

 

____

Okay, okay, he could do that. He took several deep breaths. 

____

 

____

He was always prided by his teammates on his ability to think rationally in high-stress situations, and that was exactly what he needed to do right now.

____

 

____

He considers a few variables. 

____

 

____

The first one, relying on science: Souji had hit his head too hard. A blow to the head with a strong enough impact could possibly cause side effects such as memory loss and delusions. 

____

 

____

The second one, relying on fantasy: Time travel is possible. Souji now has to relive the most traumatic year of his life all over again. 

____

 

____

...

____

 

____

He decides to play with the second one. After all that’s happened to him, it’s only natural that he would be more open-minded to the fantastical. 

____

 

____

It might be crazy, really goddamn crazy, but if a world inside a TV was able to exist, housing inhabitants with strange names like “Personas” and “Shadows”, then perhaps time travel could exist as well. That was the logic he found most realistic for this situation. It was absolutely nuts, but he would have to go along with it for now. 

____

 

____

Eventually, after many more rounds of deep breathing and trying to reason out the bizarre situation, he steadied himself on two feet, having previously curled himself into a ball on the bathroom floor.

____

 

____

If he had truly gone back in time, his cousin and uncle would be waiting for him outside the station. He started walking to go meet Dojima and Nanako. Again. 

____

 

____

Souji pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked. Somehow, even after all the antics of the past year, this was what was almost too much for him. “Almost” being the key word. 

____

 

____

“Souji! Over here!” Dojima’s voice shouted from across the station. He looked a lot less haggard from when he had seen him off at the station not long ago, his muscles having regained their previous form. 

____

 

____

He approached them, and Souji made a small, strangled noise when he spotted Nanako from behind Dojima’s legs. She was no longer in that sad hospital room. She was right here, healthy and breathing normally. He had to stop himself from picking her up and hugging her tightly. This was...

____

 

____

“You’re even more handsome in person,” Dojima said, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

____

 

____

It seemed like this was his reality for now.  

____

 

____

Souji sighed, listening as Dojima introduced himself again. It was exactly the same. 

____

 

____

“And this is my daughter, Nanako. Say hi, Nanako,” Dojima said softly. 

____

 

____

“U-Um... hello,” Nanako said, peeking out from behind Dojima’s legs. 

____

 

____

Souji bent down and looked at her, giving her a bright, warm smile. “Hi there, Nanako.”

____

 

____

She blushed deeply and tried to hide herself even further behind Dojima’s legs, and Souji just kept smiling as Dojima laughed. 

____

 

____

“What’re you so scared for?” he asked, and Nanako smacked his back lightly. Dojima laughed again and Souji’s heart soared. Despite the situation, he was so, so happy to see them both together again. 

____

 

____

On the ride to the Moel gas station, Souji thought some more about his situation. Judging from Dojima and Nanako’s behavior, it seemed like nobody around him knew that anything was different. Nanako was out of the hospital, and Dojima’s appearance had drastically changed since he had left Inaba an hour ago. Realistically, these things couldn’t happen if someone was tricking him, it would be too extreme for the short amount of time he was gone. Still, this was beyond strange. 

____

 

____

The gas station went the same, Nanako leaving to go use the bathroom and Souji meeting the gas station attendant, his head still experiencing that weird feeling this time too. Now that he thought about it, that attendant was truly strange, saying things like,  _ “You’ll either be hanging out with your friends or doing part-time jobs,”  _ with that coy smile of his. His tone of voice was very condescending too. What kind of person just infers what a complete stranger is going to do with their time? 

____

 

____

Creepy gas station attendants aside, Souji focused his thoughts on something a lot more important as he watched TV at the Dojima Residence. 

____

 

____

“... In response, Eye Television has decided to cancel all of announcer Mayumi Yamano’s televised appearances,” the reporter says from the television. 

____

 

____

Souji feels sickness rising in his stomach again. That’s right, tonight is the night that Mayumi Yamano dies. He forgot that it happened the day he arrived in Inaba. 

____

 

____

After quickly eating his dinner and helping Nanako with the dishes, Souji goes upstairs and waits until midnight, thinking some more. It was raining again, just like last year. The Midnight Channel would come on tonight. 

____

 

____

In his previous life, (and he would really have to get used to referring to it as that) Souji had learned that Ms. Yamano had disappeared on April 10th, which means that she was already in the TV world when Souji arrived in Inaba on April 11th. 

____

 

____

He holds a hand to his heart. All the personas he had gained over the past year had left him, leaving his body and mind strangely quiet and empty. If he doesn’t have Izanagi, then that means he can’t go into the TV world. He tries it out for good measure, putting his hand against his TV screen, but it’s no use. 

____

 

____

Souji sighs, his heart so heavy in his chest. Mayumi Yamano would be found dead tomorrow, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

____

 

____

At midnight, his TV switches on. 

____

 

____

Ms. Yamano is there on screen, wearing her usual reporter’s outfit and sitting in a chair at a desk, holding some papers. It seems as though she’s about to tell a news story. Was this her Midnight Channel “show”? 

____

 

____

“Today, we have a very special report. Recently, it has come to the attention of the public of a scandal involving myself, enka singer Misuzu Hiiragi, and her husband, Taro Namatame,” Ms. Yamano says matter-of-factly from Souji’s TV. 

____

 

____

She starts to giggle, putting a hand in front of her mouth and losing any sense of professionalism she had about her. 

____

 

____

“Ahahaha, that’s right! You’re all right, especially you, Misuzu! Taro is cheating on you with me! Oh, dear audience, your beloved local politician and musical star are not as put together as they seem!” she shouts excitedly, a flirty undertone lacing her voice. 

____

 

____

“You chose me, Taro, because you know I love you! I do, I love you, Taro! Mwah Mwah, ahahaha!” Ms. Yamano starts to blow kisses towards the screen. 

____

 

____

“We all know you  _ truly _ made the right decision, Taro, and to those of you darlings who are still watching, find out more details on the next episode of ‘Lady Mayumi’s Heartbreaker Crusade!’” she says, blowing some more kisses. She gets up from her chair and comes very close to the screen, waving both of her hands. 

____

 

____

“Bye, darlings!” she says, and then the TV goes black. 

____

 

____

Souji’s throat starts to close up and he feels like he can’t breathe. Back then, the Midnight Channel “shows” might have seemed a little humorous to him, but now, having Ms. Yamano’s impending death shoved in his face like this was 10 times as worse as the last time. 

____

 

____

_ Especially since I know what happens now, _ he thinks. 

____

 

____

He thinks about how Ms. Yamano is most likely being tormented by her shadow in the TV world, terrified out of her mind. 

____

 

____

Saki Konishi will die soon too, Souji remembers, but in his last run, he didn’t receive the power to actually go into the TV until April 13th, and Saki was thrown in some time after that. Would there be a way to save her before she’s found dead this time around?

____

 

____

Souji ponders this as he crawls into the futon in his room. That night, he dreams that same dream he had last year, of running through an endless black and red pathway, plagued by a strange voice that sounded from the sky. 

____

 

____

_ “Do you seek the truth...?” _

____

 

____

_ “If it’s truth you desire, come and find me...” _

____

 

____

He still couldn’t attack the fog-shrouded figure very many times, and he swears he heard distant screams from somewhere calling for help. 

____

 

____

Another one of his attacks missed, and the black and red platform he was standing on suddenly disappeared, leaving him to fall. 

____

 

____

_ “Hmhmm, you won’t find me this time either...” _ he hears the strange voice say, faintly.

____

 

____

Souji awakens and, thankfully, he’s not on the floor this time, but as he looks down, he can see his bed is definitely covered in his own sweat. Great, he’ll have to put that in the wash. 

____

 

____

Thinking of the dream he just had, he notes that the voice sounded different from the one in the dream on the train. Weird...

____

 

____

Looking at his phone, he sees the time is a little earlier than when he would usually wake up. 

____

 

____

_ Tuesday, April 12, 2011 _

____

_ 05:47 _

____

 

____

The date still startled him. 

____

 

____

In any case, Nanako would be up to make breakfast in a few minutes. Souji decides to put his bedding in the wash and help his cousin prepare breakfast. In his last run, he and Nanako made many meals together, and the smile that lit her face as she helped Souji mix, grill, or fry was one of his favorite things to see. He thinks of her hospital room, long wires attached to her sleeping, pale form. She tried so hard to be happy during that time for Dojima and Souji, but Souji knows that she was suffering horribly. He doesn’t want to see her like that ever again. This time, he vows to make her even more happy and keep her safe. 

____

 

____

“Good morning, Nanako,” Souji says happily as he takes an egg carton out of the fridge. She was just coming down the stairs, yawning and still in pajamas. 

____

 

____

“Oh, you’re awake? What are you doing?” she asks, timidly. 

____

 

____

“Well, I was going to cook some breakfast for you and your dad as a thank you for letting me stay here,” Souji says and sees his cousin’s face turn into slight shock and excitement.

____

 

____

“Wow, you cook too? Can I help you?” she asks with a gleam in her eyes. 

____

 

____

“Sure,” he laughs, “Do you know how to make omelettes, Nanako?”

____

 

____

She shakes her head. 

____

 

____

“Then I’ll teach you how, come here,” he says, beckoning her over, and with that, he teaches her the most basic way to make an omelette. 

____

 

____

Souji can visibly see that Nanako is still very shy around him, blushing whenever he looks at her and not saying much. He’s a little put-off. He’d worked so hard to get her to come out of her shell, and now he’d have to do it all over again, not just with her, but for everyone. 

____

 

____

Although he’s a little bitter, Souji had learned how to be more of an optimist in his past year living in Inaba, so he tried to see this as more of an opportunity than anything. Maybe his bonds with everyone would grow even deeper. 

____

 

____

He smiles as he remembers all his friends. He gets to see them all again and be with them for another year, and while it will be very difficult with the TV world, it’s still something. 

____

 

____

Dojima comes downstairs not long after they begin cooking, looking just a tad bewildered. 

____

 

____

Souji gives him a smile over his shoulder as Nanako observes the eggs in the pan simmer with wonder in her expression. 

____

 

____

“Looks like you two are getting along already,” Dojima huffs a short laugh, “I’ve gotta leave early though to get to the station, have a good first day at your new school, Souji. And Nanako, don’t let him get lost.”

____

 

____

“I won’t!” she says brightly. 

____

 

____

After breakfast, he heads to school, walking halfway with Nanako before she turns to walk to her own school. 

____

 

____

“Thanks for helping with breakfast, bye!” she says and quickly skips the other way. Souji smiles despite the rain. He knows who he would see next. 

____

 

____

The tell-tale sound of squeaky, screeching bike tires comes not even a minute later. 

____

 

____

“Wh-whoaaaaaa!” someone shouts from behind him. 

____

 

____

Souji turns around and sees Yosuke, his partner and best friend, cycling towards him, about to fall any second. 

____

 

____

Souji reaches out and grabs Yosuke’s bike handles, stopping him in his tracks. Yosuke looks up from behind the handles, shocked. 

____

 

____

“Uhmmm-“ he starts. 

____

 

____

“You looked like you were about to fall there, are you alright?” Souji asks him. 

____

 

____

“Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m fine! Hahahaaa,” Yosuke laughs, but Souji can tell he’s embarrassed. 

____

 

____

Yosuke... he was completely different. In the past year, Souji had developed just a small little crush on him. 

____

 

____

_ Totally just a small one, very tiny, nothing to worry about, _ Souji thinks. 

____

 

____

That “small” crush had ruined him. He constantly thought about Yosuke when he should have been thinking about other things. His vibrant hair, goofy, but charming smile, sun-kissed freckles, long eyelashes...

____

 

____

Ruined was an understatement. 

____

 

____

While Yosuke had never found out about his crush, some of the others did. Yukiko and Kanji, namely. He had a feeling Teddie knew too, but he wasn’t exactly sure. 

____

 

____

Crushes aside, Yosuke starts to brush the dirt off of himself. 

____

 

____

“Thanks for the help, man. Oh, uh, I guess I should introduce myself, huh? I’m Yosuke Hanamura, it’s nice to meet you,” Yosuke says to him, with his signature wink. 

____

 

____

“Souji Seta. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Hanamura-san,” Souji says, smiling warmly. 

____

 

____

Yosuke blushes. 

____

 

____

“Please, you can just call me Yosuke. Hearing you say that sounds a bit weird, haha” he mumbles, looking even more embarrassed. 

____

 

____

“Alright then, Yosuke. I’m the new second-year transfer student by the way. I hope we get along well,” Souji replies, knowing full well the strong friendship that will become of them. 

____

 

____

“Oh, you’re the transfer student? I hope you like it here. I came from the city too about six months back, so I know what it’s like. I’ll make sure to show you around so you don’t get lost, okay?” Yosuke says, holding out a hand to shake. 

____

 

____

Souji takes his hand as quickly as he can, holding on for longer than necessary. 

____

 

____

“Thank you, Yosuke,” he says. 

____

 

____

The brown and red hues of Yosuke’s eyes are so visible to him right now, as close as he is. Souji thinks back to the empty look they had held as he left Yasoinaba Station, a stark contrast to the youthful and bright appearance they have now. He doesn’t want to see any emptiness or pain in these eyes. It makes him even more determined to do everything he can to save Saki. 

____

 

____

Meeting King Moron again was more than a little jarring, considering he had been dead in Souji’s memory for a long while now, and even that made his stomach twist. Maybe he would have a chance to save him from Mitsuo in this run as well. 

____

 

____

At lunch hour, while Souji is sitting on the rooftop, he spots Saki talking to a group of girls, most likely her friends.

____

 

____

It was so, so strange. She was right there, alive and breathing, and not upside down on a telephone pole. Souji’s whole body shudders. 

____

 

____

Today Saki would find Ms. Yamano’s body, and tomorrow would be the day that Souji officially meets her. 

____

 

____

Souji swallows thickly. Should he try to go talk to her right now?

____

 

____

After careful consideration, he takes some of his trash to go throw away in the bin closest to Saki. As he had hoped, this grabs the attention of her and her group. 

____

 

____

“Oh,” one of the girls in the group says, “Are you the new transfer student?”

____

 

____

“Yes, I am,” Souji says, “My name is Souji Seta, it’s nice to meet you.”

____

 

____

“Seta-san, huh?” the girl says, and the group introduces themselves one by one. 

____

 

____

“I’m Saki Konishi, a third year like these guys, it’s nice to meet you, Seta-kun,” Saki finally says, a little shyly. 

____

 

____

“It’s nice to meet you all,” he says. 

____

 

____

He strikes up a small conversation with the group, trying to focus most of his attention on Saki. 

____

 

____

“Konishi-senpai, your name sounds a little familiar. I was exploring town some yesterday after I arrived and came across a store called Konishi Liquors. Do you happen to have a connection to it?” he asks. It was a small lie, as he hadn’t explored the town yet, but it would do. He wanted to get as much information about her as possible. 

____

 

____

“Oh, that...” Saki looks somewhat sad, “Yeah, my parents run that store. It’s been passed down for a few generations now, but it’s not really anything special.” 

____

 

____

Souji knows Saki didn’t get along too well with her parents, but based on what her shadow said last time, she did seem to care about them and the liquor store to a degree. She was being modest. It reminds him of her hidden feelings about Yosuke. 

____

 

____

“Do you work there with them?” Souji asks her, already knowing the answer. 

____

 

____

She fidgets. “No, I actually work at a large department store called Junes. It’s close to Yasogami.” 

____

 

____

Souji nods, deciding to leave it at that, as she had started to tense up. He would have to be mindful of how he behaved with people this year. Although he already knows them in his head, they obviously don’t know him, and he could easily come off as weird. 

____

 

____

He asks the other girls a few questions and then the hour is over, all of them having to return to their respective classrooms.

____

 

____

The rest of the school day passes by the same, Souji hearing the same lectures all over again. At the end of the day, the announcement comes over the intercom that police are near the school and to head home as quickly as possible. Souji feels guilt pool in his stomach. 

____

 

____

After the announcement is over, Yosuke walks up to Chie, holding out a DVD. Oh, that’s right, he hadn’t broken it this time because Souji had stopped his bike. 

____

 

____

“It was a really interesting movie, thanks for letting me borrow it, Satonaka-san,” Yosuke says. 

____

 

____

“You liked it? Hey, remember the part where the protagonist…” Chie starts to talk animatedly with Yosuke about the movie for a few moments. 

____

 

____

Souji notes Yukiko’s tense appearance as she stands next to Chie. 

____

 

____

“Um, Chie…” Yukiko snaps Chie out of her ramblings. 

____

 

____

Chie and Yukiko both turn to look at him. 

____

 

____

“Oh, I guess we should introduce ourselves to you, right? Sorry about that. My name’s Chie Satonaka, and this is my friend, Yukiko Amagi,” Chie says, gesturing to Yukiko. 

____

 

____

“Hi,” Yukiko says politely, “I hope you enjoy your year here in Inaba. There’s not really a lot to do, but everyone pretty much knows each other here.”

____

 

____

Souji introduces himself to Chie and Yukiko. His two friends looked a lot different, Yukiko having reverted back to her soft, quiet nature, and Chie, still as loud as ever, but lacking the fire in her eyes. It hurt Souji to know that his dear friends were all experiencing their own levels of suffering right now. 

____

 

____

“Hey, Yosuke! Are you going to introduce yourself to Seta-kun?” Chie shouts as Souji flinches a bit. Yep, still very loud. 

____

 

____

“Don’t worry. Yosuke and I met earlier this morning on the way to school,” Souji assures her. 

____

 

____

“Yeah, if we hadn’t met this morning, your DVD would probably be in pieces right now,” Yosuke says to Chie. 

____

 

____

“What?! What’s that supposed to mean?” Chie yells, looking mortified, “You dare treat my precious Trial of the Dragon like trash?” 

____

 

____

Chie and Yosuke begin bickering back and forth, and Yukiko cracks a wry smile, sending Souji a sly look. Souji smiles back at her, thinking about the weird and frankly dark sense of humor Yukiko would reveal to them later this year. It was something Souji could always relate to about Yukiko, and he treasured that. 

____

 

____

Yosuke ceases the bickering, announcing he has a shift at Junes he needs to get to, and heads off, leaving Souji to walk home with Chie and Yukiko. Souji persuades the two to walk a different route. He didn’t want to come across Ms. Yamano’s crime scene and didn’t want Dojima to gather any suspicion towards him. 

____

 

____

Before they even step foot outside the school gates, Mitsuo is there again, pestering Yukiko. Last time, Souji had just stood there, confused and disgusted by the end of it. This time, though, Souji would not let one of his friends be walked all over. 

____

 

____

“Listen,” Souji interrupts Mitsuo’s indignation over Yukiko rejecting him, “She already said she’s not interested, and I’m tired of seeing women being harassed by people like you. She’s not an object or a trophy, so leave her alone and go home already.”

____

 

____

Mitsuo just stands there, mortified. He spouts something incoherent and then runs away. 

____

 

____

_ Scum, _ Souji thinks. 

____

 

____

He turns to Yukiko. 

____

 

____

“Amagi-san, I’m really sorry about that. I hope it didn’t seem like I was speaking for you, but I hate seeing kind people be-“ Souji starts, but Yukiko interrupts him. 

____

 

____

“Seta-kun, don’t worry. Umm… no one’s ever really stood up for me before besides Chie. It was a really nice thing to do. Thank you,” she says.

____

 

____

Souji smiles. He couldn’t wait for the day when Yukiko would grow more confident again, burning shadows and metaphorical walls alike with her anger. Her boost in confidence over the past year is something that really factored into Souji’s own self-esteem growth. Without the inspiration he gained from her, Souji would never have been able to stand up for Yukiko like that. 

____

 

____

Mitsuo though… he would have to watch him carefully throughout the next few months. 

____

 

____

On the way home, Souji thinks about how Yukiko would be kidnapped by Namatame soon. As terrible and disgusting as it makes him feel, he knows he won’t be able to solve the mystery of the TV world without all of his trusted friends. He had to let Yukiko be taken and then go and rescue her. 

____

 

____

Souji glances over at Yukiko, who is smiling at Chie as they talk about something together. He feels sick, knowing what would happen to her, but he couldn’t do this without any of them. He thinks of Kanji, Rise, and Naoto. They would have to be taken too. And…

____

 

____

_ Nanako, _ he thinks, stopping in his tracks. There was no way Souji would let her be taken this time. There was no reason she had to be taken from him by Namatame. He wouldn’t let him get to her, he  _ wouldn’t.  _

____

 

____

“Are you okay, Seta-kun?” Yukiko asks, her and Chie having stopped as well. They’re both frowning slightly at him. 

____

 

____

Souji thinks of the dream he had back on the train, and the mysterious voice that had spoken to him. 

____

 

____

_ “Pursue the truth until the very end,” _ it had said,  _ “Never letting your heart falter. Do not regress back into the cowardice that so easily finds you, lest the fog cloud your vision once again.” _

____

 

____

He wouldn’t take the easy way out this time. He would solve the true matter of this case alongside his friends, even if it’s painful. 

____

 

____

“I’m okay, just feel a little sick,” Souji says to them. It wasn’t a lie.

____

 

____

They nod, and part ways a little farther down. The death of Mayumi Yamano would be broadcast tonight, and tomorrow would come more rumors of the Midnight Channel. He would also have to crack down on a way to save Saki. 

____

 

____

Souji exhales, long, standing at the entrance way to the Dojima Residence. He can hear Nanako inside watching the quiz show. 

____

 

____

This year would be an arduous test of Souji’s willpower. 

____


	2. (don’t fear) the reaper

_ April 13, 2011 _

 

Souji stops Yosuke from hurling into the trash can the next day. 

 

“Heh, you saved me again, dude. It’s sorta like you’re psychic,” Yosuke says as Souji once again takes his bike by the handlebars, standing in front of him. 

 

_ If only you knew, _ Souji thinks. 

 

They talk grimly about Ms. Yamano’s murder on the way to school, Chie and Yukiko joining in on the conversation as the two boys spot them by the school gates. 

 

“It’s really freaky,” Chie says, “Who would just hang a dead body from a TV antenna? Do you think the killer electrocuted her?” 

 

“Who would kill anyone in the first place?” Yosuke mumbles. 

 

Souji recalls Yosuke’s voice back in Namatame’s hospital room, filled with murderous intent. It’s sort of ironic now…

 

But he can’t point fingers at his partner entirely, as Souji was the one who held Namatame up to the TV. He knows for a fact the only thing on his mind back then was getting rid of the bastard for what he did to Nanako, his friends, and all the others involved. 

 

At the end of the school day, Yosuke approaches him, asking if he knew about Inaba’s local delicacy. 

 

“It’s grilled steak, man!” he shouts, his voice echoing in the tiny room. “Here, I’ll treat you to it today. Think of it as a welcome gift.”

 

Chie comes to life at the word “steak”, having been previously sprawled out on her desk, sleeping. Sort of like a meerkat in the wild. 

 

Souji laughs a little to himself, picturing Chie’s face on a meerkat’s body. 

 

They end up at Junes again, Chie’s argument for tagging along being  _ “I let you borrow my favorite kung-fu movie, Yosuke! It’s like an honor sharing that with anybody!”  _

 

Yukiko didn’t come this time either, needing to assist at the inn. 

 

Towards the beginning of their “Welcome to Town After School Lunch”, Chie stands up to use the bathroom, leaving Souji and Yosuke alone together. 

 

Yosuke makes awkward small talk with him through his happy go-lucky facade, talking a little about his past in the city. 

 

“A lot of the people there were, uh, flaky... I guess is the word,” he says, looking down.

 

Souji remembers Yosuke’s words from his last run, how he had talked about only hanging around with people back in the city for the sake of not seeming lonely, how he had a full contact list, but still no one to talk to. Souji empathized with him greatly there. 

 

Back in his hometown, he had hung out with a few people in school who he had rather not have socialized with, if only he wasn’t insecure about not having friends. The kids he hung around were frankly rude. Even as Souji pretended to like them, they still didn’t pay much attention to him. They third or fourth-wheeled him, ignored him at lunchtime, and didn’t even bother to say hi to him if they saw him on the way to school. In a way, it was even more lonelier than if he didn’t hang around them. 

He looks at Yosuke, sitting across from him, his head bowed and a slight frown on his face. He didn’t want Yosuke to ever feel alone again. He wanted to be the one to make him feel happy and appreciated. 

 

“I know what you mean, Yosuke, the people I hung around back in the city were the same way. I was only friends with them because nobody else would talk to me, and even so, they barely paid attention to me,” Souji says, pausing for a moment afterwards. He wanted to say something, but didn’t know if he was being too forward for Yosuke’s liking. He knew how sensitive he was, but oh well…

 

“Yosuke,” he says and pauses again, “I hope we become great friends this year. You seem like an amazing person.”

 

Yosuke blushes, very,  _ very _ red, and Souji swears he malfunctions for a moment. He was so cute. All Souji wanted was to hold him close and kiss his red face and-

 

“T-thanks, Souji, umm,” Yosuke coughs, rubbing his nose in embarrassment, “That was really nice of you and… you s-seem like a pretty co-, uh,  pretty cool dude too.”

 

_ Pretty Cool Dude.  _ Souji could take that title for now. 

 

Chie returns from the bathroom shortly after, an excited look on her face. 

 

“So, have you guys heard about _ it?” _ she asks the two boys, stuffing a piece of steak in her mouth. 

 

“Heard about what?” Yosuke asks her. 

 

“The Midnight Channel! I heard about it from people at school. Apparently if you look into your TV on a rainy night, exactly at midnight, your soulmate will appear on screen and stuff! Someone swears they totally saw that announcer lady on their TV!” Chie explains to them, gesturing wildly with her hands. 

 

“Uhhh, what?” Yosuke stares at her, frowning. “Chie, did you take something weird?”

 

They start to bicker again, leaving Souji to his thoughts. If things were the same as last year, tonight would be when he awakened to Izanagi and was granted access to the TV. Tomorrow, Souji would tell Yosuke and Chie about being able to go into the TV, and then they would visit the TV world for the first time (or, in Souji’s case, probably the hundredth time). 

 

If Souji planned things out right, they could visit Ms. Yamano’s room in the TV world, and happen to “stumble upon” Saki’s shadow in the liquor store. If Souji fought Saki’s shadow, or better yet, prevented her from denying it, they could save her. 

 

Speaking of Saki…

 

“Oh, hey Hana-chan,” Saki says to Yosuke as she approaches their table. 

 

“S-Saki-senpai! Are you okay? Do you need my help with something?” Yosuke asks hurriedly, rising from his chair. 

 

Saki laughs a little and sighs. 

 

“Noooo, I just wanted to say hi,” she says. She spots Souji from across the table. “Oh, hi to you too, Seta-kun! Has Hana-chan already recruited you as his friend?” 

Yosuke sputters something incoherent in the background. 

 

“We met yesterday. He’s been really nice to me,” Souji replies. 

 

“That’s good. Hana-chan’s generally a nice guy, but he can be a little nosy at times. You gotta tell him right to his face if it becomes too much, okay?” she jokes, and Souji smiles.

 

“Don’t worry, Senpai. I’m sure I won’t need to,” Souji says, and Saki gives him a friendly, knowing look, almost as if they shared a secret. 

 

He could do this. He could save her… right?

 

A little later, the three leave the Junes food court, agreeing to look into the Midnight Channel rumor tonight. 

 

Saki appears on the news that night, her having been interviewed about discovering Ms. Yamano’s body. Souji still holds a strong resentment to that interviewer. How could he be so aloof to the fact that someone had been murdered? During the last few months of Souji’s stay in Inaba, many people around town began acting carefree just like that interviewer, and it really disturbed him. 

 

Actually, now that Souji thinks about it, everyone in Inaba began to behave weirdly as soon as the fog started to seep into their world from the TV. He ponders what this could mean as he ascends the staircase to his room. 

 

He waits until midnight, an all too familiar feeling overcoming him at the first stroke of the hour. The thunderstorm outside his window grows in intensity, flashes of lightning illuminating his room. Izanagi’s voice rings loudly in his head and his energetic presence settles into the confines of Souji’s heart. 

 

Souji lets out a long sigh of relief. It was so comforting to have him back, to feel the persona’s energy crackle within his heart, making his whole body seem infinitely lighter. 

 

He puts his palm flat against the TV screen in his room, and sure enough, it goes through. He can feel the arid, oppressive atmosphere of the TV world with just his hand inside and he quickly removes it. 

 

The outline of Saki’s body appears and blurred images of her flash on screen, of her being tortured, her screaming, Shadows overtaking her body. 

 

Souji’s chest and throat constrict, and he crawls into his futon, tears forming at his eyes. He puts in headphones and turns the music up on his phone, loud. 

 

Tomorrow he would save Saki, no matter the cost. 

  
  


—

  
  


_ April 14, 2011 _

 

Souji tries to explain to Chie and Yosuke what happened the night before, even mentioning Izanagi’s voice in his head, but just like last time, they didn’t believe him. Souji didn’t blame them. 

 

They head to the Junes Electronics Department after school to look at TVs for Chie’s family. Once again, Souji sticks various body parts in the TV and once again, Chie and Yosuke panic. All in all, they end up inside the TV. 

 

Souji’s body feels heavy as soon as he lands on the floor of the studio backlot. The atmosphere of the TV world was like no other. 

 

They venture around after the customary  _ “Where the hell are we?!”  _ from both Yosuke and Chie, Souji trying to guide them as inconspicuously as possible to Mayumi Yamano’s room. 

 

When they make it to her room, the torn posters of Misuzu Hiiragi are the first thing Souji spots. 

 

He thinks back to her show on the Midnight Channel, and the things she had said about Ms. Hiiragi and Namatame. He searches around the room, looking for any possible clues that might give him a lead to the killer, but he finds nothing.

 

After a few more minutes of looking around, Yosuke speaks up.

 

“Is this really that announcer lady’s room? What could it mean?” he asks, fear evident in his voice. 

 

“I’m not sure, but let’s get out of here,” Souji says. Ms. Yamano was gone now, and as bad as it hurt, there was nothing he could do about it now. He wanted to save Saki as soon as possible. 

 

“We should try to find where we entered from,” Yosuke says and Chie makes a noise of agreement.

 

Souji nods. “I’ll lead the way.”

 

Instead of leading them to the backlot, he guides them to where he knows the Twisted Shopping District is. 

 

There are shadows surrounding the liquor store, and Souji makes a show of summoning Izanagi as the Lying Hableries lick and bite as his friends. Crushing the blue card in between his hand, he easily takes all the shadows down in a few turns. 

 

“What in the world?!” Chie shouts from behind him as Izanagi retreats back into Souji’s heart. 

 

“Dude, what was that?! P-perso..na? Izanagi? Is that what you said?” Yosuke asks him, his eyes wide and mouth open. 

 

“Izanagi… hey, isn’t that what you were trying to tell us about earlier today?” Chie asks, “So it is real! How did you do that? I mean, what… what’s going on?!” 

 

“Just calm down, you guys,” Souji says to them. Yosuke starts to say something, but is cut off by several loud screams from inside the liquor store. 

 

“Is s-someone in there?” Chie asks, voice trembling.

 

“Let’s find out. They might need help. You two, stay behind me,” Souji says, and ventures in, Yosuke and Chie obeying him. 

 

As Souji expected, Saki’s shadow is inside, wearing a tight, black latex suit and dark makeup. Several long, sharp knives rest at her waistline in a belt. She sits upon a pyramid of high, stacked crates, legs crossed, and holding a bottle of alcohol in her hands, drinking out of it every so often. She appears bored, her chin on one of her palms, and a sign above her head in fancy neon lights reads, “Konishi Style Breakdown.” Her golden eyes stare down at what lay before her...

 

The real Saki at the bottom of the crates, dressed in her school uniform and crying. 

 

Souji stares at the shadow, with Yosuke and Chie behind him. 

 

“What the hell is this?” Yosuke says, panicked, looking between the shadow and Saki’s true form.

 

Souji glances towards Yosuke, a sharp stabbing pain in his chest. This was going to be so painful… 

 

Saki’s shadow simply stares back at them for a few moments. Very quietly, she starts to speak. 

 

“They really think they all know what’s best for me,” she says, taking a long swig from the bottle and then throwing it behind her. It rattles a few times from where it had fallen on the floor. 

 

“Do I look like someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing?” she says, voice going deeper. 

 

Voices echo from above them. 

 

_ “Oh, I heard that Konishi-san’s daughter is working there.” _

 

_ “...How could she, with her family’s business suffering like it is?” _

 

_ “What a troublesome child.” _

 

“FUCK YOU!” she screams suddenly, taking a knife from her belt and staking it through the crate she’s sitting on. Souji, Chie, and Yosuke all jump, startled by her outburst. 

 

The real Saki sobs loudly. “Don’t listen to her! I don’t know who she is!”

 

_ “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? You’re the eldest daughter of a family who’s owned this store for generations!” _

 

“Fuck you! The only reason I worked at that store was to make more money for you and mother! You don’t give a shit about me  _ or  _ Naoki. You don’t care about anything!” the shadow screams, hair falling wildly all around her face. 

 

“Senpai,” Yosuke speaks from behind Souji, “P-please just calm down.”

 

“And you…” Shadow Saki says, glaring down at Yosuke. 

 

Yosuke swallows and trembles where he stands. Shadow Saki jumps down from where she’s sitting and comes very close to him. Souji instinctively sticks his arm out in front of Yosuke. 

 

“Hmmph,” Shadow Saki says, and promptly pushes Souji to the floor, hard. 

 

“S-Seta-kun!” Chie and the real Saki both shout. Chie kneels down to help him, while Saki tries to crawl towards him, but fails. 

 

“I’m fine, please-“ Souji starts, but is cut off by Shadow Saki speaking. All he, Chie, and Saki can do is watch from the floor. 

 

“I was only nice to you because your dad’s the manager of Junes,” Shadow Saki says sweetly, twirling a lock of her hair, “But you always took it the wrong way!”

 

Her expression suddenly changes and she takes another knife from her belt, holding it under Yosuke’s chin, forcing him to look at her. Yosuke is white as a sheet, shaking, and tears are falling down his face. 

 

“You really thought I liked someone like you?! Because of your goddamn store, my parents hate me, and everyone around me talks behind my back. I’m so fucking sick of it!” she shouts, stepping forward and gripping the knife tighter. 

 

Shadow Saki backs Yosuke up until he hits the wall behind him. She holds up one of her manicured fingers to his face, dragging it so that it wipes away some of his tears.

 

“Ahahaa, gonna cry now? I thought you were tough, Hana-chan? Or was that part of your act too?” she coos, stroking his face lovingly and smiling sadistically. 

 

“S-saki, please,” Yosuke says quietly, voice breaking. 

 

Shadow Saki loses her lovey-dovey act and slaps Yosuke across the face. He yelps, falling to the floor on his knees, holding the cheek she had slapped. 

 

“Yosuke!” the real Saki shouts. She manages to crawl a few inches towards him, but then collapses again. 

 

“You, shut the hell up!” Shadow Saki turns around and screams at the real Saki. “You don’t even care about him. Just shut the fuck up and let me say what you’re really thinking!”

 

“N-no stop it! You have no idea what I’m thinking!” Saki shouts, hysterically. 

 

“Senpai, just let it talk,” Souji says weakly. 

 

Shadow Saki laughs, walking towards Souji. She grinds a latex heel down on Souji’s chest and looks down at his face. He wheezes and struggles under her to no avail. Chie tries to grab at her leg, but the shadow hurls a knife at her. The knife lands upright next to Chie’s face, inches from her eye. 

 

“At least you want to hear me talk,” the shadow says. “You’re nice to me, and..” she pauses, licking her lips, “You’re sort of handsome. You’re  _ much _ better than Hana-chan.”

 

Souji looks over to where the real Saki is, red-faced and sniffling.

 

“Yosuke is a great person, and so are you Senpai,” Souji rasps. “Please, just hear it out.”

 

Shadow Saki’s brow furrows as she looks down at him and her eyes fill with rage. Her heel on his chest presses down harder, and Souji can barely breathe now. She spits and it lands on his face. Souji’s stomach pools with dread, he knows what’s coming. 

 

“Stop it!” Saki shouts at her shadow, “Why should I listen to this thing? Whatever it is, it isn’t me! Don’t listen to it, listen to me!”

 

The shadow removes her heel from Souji’s chest and saunters over to Saki. 

 

“Not you? Why do you keep deluding yourself of  _ everything?! _ Of course I’m you! I’m your shadow, don’t you know? I know everything about you, because I  _ AM  _ you. Everything you think and feel, everything you hide from those around you, I know it all,” Shadow Saki drawls, looking down at her. 

 

A bewildered look crosses over the real Saki’s face. Souji sits up, having quickly recovered from what the shadow did to him. 

 

“Senpai! Just listen!” Souji shouts. 

 

“W-what the hell are you? You’re not me, you’re not! There’s no way you can be me!” the real Saki says, and Souji covers Chie with his body as Shadow Saki begins to laugh maniacally and transform into her true self. 

 

It was hell fighting her, literally. Shadow Saki blew flame after flame at Souji while Yosuke, Chie, and the real Saki stood back. Saki was passed out, and Yosuke had her head on his lap. 

 

It was very hard not doing this without his teammates, and especially without someone like Teddie or Rise guiding him through it. 

 

“You think you know me, you son of a bitch? Taste this!” Shadow Saki says in a distorted voice, releasing another fire attack upon Souji. He counters back with a physical attack from Izanagi. His trusted persona was so weak now, not keeping his strength from the training Souji had built up with him over the past year. 

 

It was long, and probably the most difficult fight Souji’s ever had, save Kunino-sagiri, but he got through it. 

 

Souji collapses to the floor, absolutely exhausted. Yosuke and Chie have extremely shocked looks on their faces.

 

Saki stirs from where she rests on Yosuke’s lap, and her shadow stares back at her, golden eyes gleaming in the ominous, dark lighting of the liquor store. 

 

Souji musters up the last of his strength. 

 

“Senpai,” he breathes out, “If what it said was true, then it’s just one part of you. You have to accept it or else it might go berserk again.”

 

Of course Souji knew exactly what was happening, and what could happen, but he couldn’t let them be suspicious of him, so he chose his words carefully when explaining the shadow. 

 

Saki looks at him, disbelieving, but reluctantly goes along with it. 

 

“I… I guess some of what it said was right,” Saki says and the shadow continues to stare at her, one hand resting on its hip. 

 

Saki lets out a deep breath. 

 

“Okay, all of it was right,” she confesses and turns to look at the shadow directly, “You’re right, I hate Junes, I hate this town, and I resent my parents because of their feelings towards me.”

 

Saki hesitates for a moment, then turns towards Yosuke. 

 

“And… I find Hana-chan really annoying,” she says, a sad look in her eyes, “He’s nice and all, and I know he has a crush on me, but I can’t stand it. I can’t stand anyone in this town. I can’t stand myself.”

 

Yosuke’s head is down, he can’t even look at her. 

 

“I’m sort of jealous of him... That’s why I dislike him so much. He acts so happy and carefree, even when things don’t go his way. Meanwhile, I get the worst of the town’s backlash and just have to take it,” Saki continues, “I hate it.” 

 

Several minutes pass by in silence, the only sound being everyone’s breathing and the hum of the refrigerators in the liquor store. 

 

Yosuke finally looks back up at her, eyes shining with tears and face starting to bruise from where Shadow Saki had slapped him. He stands up and makes his way over to Saki. 

 

“Saki-senpai, it’s okay. I understand. I know how much it hurts to know that everyone hates you, and that everyone talks about you behind their backs, and I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. I know it may not seem like it, but there are people who do genuinely care for you and want you to be happy,” Yosuke says to her, firm resolve in his eyes. “You’re an amazing person, Senpai, and I look up to you.” 

 

Saki nods. 

 

“I’m so sorry, Yosuke,” she says and starts to cry again. 

 

Her shadow smiles at her when she’s not watching and starts to transform. A bright light overtakes the shadow and a large figure appears in the air. 

 

“I am Inari Ōkami. Thou hast awakened to me. From here on out, I will guide you and protect you,” the figure says in a feminine voice, then suddenly disappears, a card appearing in its stead. 

 

Saki turns around and takes the card, flipping it over. It reads “The Magus”.

 

She suddenly falls to her knees, and Souji gets up, rushing towards her alongside Yosuke and Chie. 

 

“Let’s try to find a way out of here,” Souji says, verging on delirium. 

 

“Here, let me help you,” Yosuke says, and comes over to Souji, wrapping an arm around his waist. Souji leans into him and blushes slightly.

 

_ He smells so nice, _ Souji thinks in his sleepy state. 

 

Chie helps Saki walk and together they all set out to find where they had entered from. Souji tries to guide them as best he can without seeming like he knew everything. 

 

Eventually, they reach the studio backlot, and as Souji had hoped, Teddie is there. 

 

Yosuke snaps to attention. 

 

“Hey, dude, what the hell is that?!” he says to no one in particular, pointing with his free hand at Teddie. 

 

Chie chimes in too. “I think he’s an enemy, Yosuke! Hurry, let’s put these two down and pummel him!” 

 

“W-w-wait!” Teddie says, holding out his paws and shaking them. Souji has to stifle his laugh. 

 

“Don’t hurt me! I’m not a Shadow!” Teddie says, peeking out from behind his paws at Yosuke and Chie. 

 

“Like that thing we just saw back there?” Chie asks him. 

 

“Huh? What’re you talking about?” Teddie asks. 

 

Yosuke and Chie try their hardest to explain to him what just happened back at the liquor store. 

 

“Wait, so this guy was able to fight the shadows?” Teddie asks, pointing at Souji. Yosuke and Chie both nod. 

 

Teddie waddles over to Souji, still in Yosuke’s arms. Souji smiles weakly at Teddie, he had missed him. 

 

“Did you have a shadow too?” Teddie asks, and Souji shakes his head. 

 

“No Shadow? But how do you have a Persona?” Teddie asks, his little bear mouth frowning slightly. 

 

“What does that mean?” Yosuke asks. 

 

“You have to accept your shadow to get a Persona, duh!” Teddie says to him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

 

“What the hell,” Yosuke mutters to himself, “What even are you?! I think it’s time you showed your face!” Yosuke shouts, and uses his free hand to pop off Teddie’s mascot head.

 

Like before, nothing is there, it’s completely empty inside. It jars Souji to say the least, he had gotten really used to Teddie’s human form. 

 

“Gah! What the hell?!” Chie shouts, Saki gasping lightly in the background. 

 

Yosuke just stands there, mortified. Souji presses his face into Yosuke’s jacket, choking on laughter. It was so goddamn  _ funny _ to him. 

 

“Hmph! Seems like you all don’t have any manners, unlike me!” Teddie shouts, putting his head back on, balling his little paws into fists. 

 

“Umm, uhh… listen, bear! Do you know how to get out of this place?” Yosuke asks him, very embarrassed. 

 

“Of course I do! I live here after all,” Teddie says and stomps one of his feet a few times. Three televisions appear behind him, as though they had descended from the fog covered sky. 

 

“Before I let you leave though… are you the ones throwing people in here?” Teddie growls. 

 

“Throwing people in…?” Chie asks. 

 

“Oh yeah, that’s righ-“ Saki begins to say, but Teddie cuts her off. 

 

“Never mind, just get out of here!” Teddie shouts and promptly pushes all four of them through the TVs. 

 

“Hey, wait a second, bear!” Yosuke shouts, but gets pushed into the TV anyways. They end up on the floor of Junes as always, right in front of one of the giant TVs. 

 

Souji gets up and brushes himself off, alongside Yosuke and Chie. Saki was passed out on the floor again. 

 

“That was…” Chie says, and then stops.  

 

“Yeah, I know,” Souji says and they all stand there for a few minutes. 

 

“I think it’d be best to just go home. I’ll take Saki-senpai. I’ll tell my dad she passed out working or something so no one gets suspicious of me carrying her. There’s no cameras around here either, so I’ll be fine. Chie, can you walk with Souji?” Yosuke asks, lifting Saki up from the floor. 

 

“Huh? Yeah, sure thing,” Chie says and eyes Souji awkwardly. 

 

“It’s alright, Satonaka-san” Souji says and Chie nods. 

 

“Just call me Chie,” she says, and hooks an arm around Souji’s waist. They begin the walk to his house, Souji telling her what route to take. 

 

He looks behind him at Yosuke and Saki’s retreating forms. He had saved her.  _ He had saved her. _

 

He doesn’t remember much after that, only the sight of Chie and Nanako tucking him into bed, their words far away in his ears. 

 

“He hit his head pretty hard at Junes, keep an eye on him okay, umm..?” Chie says, cutting herself off. 

 

“Nanako,” Nanako says, her voice small and sweet. 

 

“Nanako-chan,” Chie repeats. 

 

The door closes. Souji’s body felt heavy, but light at the same time. 

 

He had saved her, it was all okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing out a shadow for saki was something i REALLY wanted to do, i had a lot of fun with it! i wanted her shadow to give off the femdom/dominatrix vibe cause... why not. i honestly love saki and she doesn't deserve the hate she gets. i hope you enjoyed how i characterized her! 
> 
> edit: to explain a little about saki’s arcana and persona, “the magus” is from a tarot deck called the “thoth tarot”. this deck is where marie from p4g’s arcana comes from (aeon). in this deck, the magus replaces the magician, so i thought it was interesting for saki and yosuke to be related in their arcana. this fic isn’t about them, but i really like how they influence each other in the game, and she is a big part of yosuke’s s. link, so i want to shed some more light on that in this fic and how it will influence yosuke! inari ōkami is the god/goddess of foxes, fertility, rice, tea, and sake in shinto religion, so i thought it would fit saki well.


	3. pull up the people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much to everyone who's left kudos, comments, and bookmarked this fic so far! i hope you are enjoying it as much as i am :D

_ April 15, 2011 _

 

Souji wakes up the next morning feeling like he got hit by a truck, then seven more trucks, all at the same time. 

 

The only other time he had  _ ever  _ felt this bad after a trip into the TV world was after saving Nanako in Heaven, and that’s saying a lot. It seems he had lost most of the muscle and strength he had built up over the past year. 

 

God, he felt terrible. 

 

It was a whole process just to drag himself out of bed, get ready, and begin the walk to school. On the way there, he thinks about the events of the day before. A proud, relieved smile crosses his face as he recalls it. Saki was  _ safe. _ She was no longer suffering in the TV world, no shadow to torment her. Her death would not be announced at a bleak school assembly this time. 

 

The thick fog envelopes tiny Inaba this morning, but Souji feels secure.

 

Now, they just need to hear from her who threw her into the TV. They could find out who the true killer was, and have them apprehended before it was even May. Souji would have the whole rest of the year to just relax with his friends, Nanako, and Dojima. 

 

_ Please, let it be that easy, _ Souji thinks, begging whoever could possibly be out there to listen to his pleas.

 

By some miracle, Chie and Yosuke were the only two in the classroom when he arrived at school. They both quickly engage him in conversation. 

 

“Souji-kun! How are you feeling? I totally thought you were gonna skip school today!” Chie rambles to him, looking him over like a worried parent. 

 

“Are you alright, dude? I’ve…  _ We’ve _ been really worried about you. You looked awful yesterday,” Yosuke says, a frown pulling at his face. 

 

Souji smiles at them. They already cared about him just as much as he cared for them. He really loved his friends, even though they weren’t  _ technically _ friends yet. 

 

“I’m fine, just a little sore from the fight,” Souji says. That was a lie, of course. It was difficult to stand for even a few minutes. “How is Senpai, though?” 

 

Yosuke exhales, dragging a hand through his hair. “She’s really worn out. When I got to her house, I explained to her parents that she had passed out working, probably from stress, as there was a lot of customers that day. That was the story I made up. It’s convenient though, ‘cause she did actually have a shift at that time. We got lucky there. I stayed for about 30 minutes to check on her, but she didn’t wake up at all. I doubt she’s coming to school today.”

 

Souji nods, pleased with Yosuke’s ability to improvise even in high-stress situations. His partner really didn’t give himself enough credit. He was truly intelligent.

 

“I would think the same,” Souji agrees, “Let’s visit her after school today and check up on her. We need to find out how she got into that place.”

 

“Yeah, I agree. This TV business though… it doesn’t really make any sense to me. You think that bear we saw yesterday knows anything about it?” Chie asks the group. 

 

“I dunno,” Yosuke says, then shivers, “Don’t you guys think it’s really creepy though that there was nothing inside his suit?”

 

Chie shivers as well. “Yeah, it sure was.” 

 

Souji pauses for a few moments, as if thinking. “Maybe he knows how Senpai got in there.” 

 

Yosuke looks a little skeptical, while Chie looks thoughtful, but they both return to their seats as the morning bell rings and students start flooding the room. 

 

The day passes by relatively the same, and Souji notices how Yukiko practically bolts from the classroom as the last bell rings at the end of the day. Sickness rises within him again at the thought of her, and the rest of his friends, being taken. He would have to rescue all of them as soon as possible once they got thrown into the TV, and Yukiko would be soon. 

 

He feels himself tearing up as he watches her go, red jacket fleeting around the corner. In his peripheral, he can see Chie following the motion with an unexplainable look in her eyes. It was going to be so painful letting his friends be kidnapped, but it was necessary. He needed their help. Souji’s friends were practically his backbone. Without them, he was nothing.

 

At least, that’s how Souji saw it.

 

As Yosuke had predicted, Saki didn’t show up to school, so they visit her house after leaving the school grounds. Naoki Konishi greets them at the door. His personality seems a little different from last year, still a bit sullen, but lacking the empty, hollow sound his voice had once held. 

 

Naoki hadn’t seen Souji off at the station when he had left Inaba, he not having formed a close enough bond with him over the year. Kou and Daisuke were the only other friends that had shown up, and had brought him a to-go box of Aiya’s to eat for dinner when he got back to his hometown. 

 

He had neglected so many of the people in his life last year, too caught up with the mystery of the TV world and saving everybody, and not used to actually being liked by others. It had caused Souji to close in on himself, and distance himself from his friends. That wouldn’t be the case this time. Everyone around him was depending on him, and he needed to be there for them, he  _ wanted _ to be there.

 

Souji thinks about how Naoki won’t have to grieve this year about Saki and gives him a bright smile as he introduces himself and the others at the door, and Naoki leads them upstairs to Saki’s room, where she is still sleeping. 

 

She’s there, breathing and safe. Souji feels like crying in relief. Or yelling. Or both. 

 

“I skipped school to take care of her today. She woke up two times to eat and use the bathroom, but that’s about it,” Naoki says to them. 

 

“Has she spoken to you at all?” Souji asks. Saki had only been “missing” for a few hours yesterday, so nobody had known she was gone except for Souji, but she could’ve already said something about the perpetrator to Naoki. 

 

“Only to say how she was feeling, and what she wanted to eat. It’s strange that she’s been sleeping all day though. You only said she passed out, right Hanamura?” Naoki asks him. Souji notes the lack of honorifics and has to hold back a laugh. Naoki was still as stubborn as ever. 

 

Yosuke is slightly taken aback, but responds nevertheless. “Uhh, yeah, she passed out, but she seemed to hit the floor kind of hard.”

 

Naoki looks down while chewing his lip, thinking. 

 

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Naoki-kun. Back in middle school I passed out from the heat and spent the next three days recovering from it, but granted I was throwing up too, so it probably won’t take her that long,” Souji says, making up a story on the spot, trying to ease Naoki’s worries and any suspicions he might have. 

 

Naoki nods, seeming satisfied. 

 

Souji places down Saki’s schoolwork he got from her teachers on her nightstand, then turns to Yosuke and Chie. 

 

“Let’s leave her to rest. Naoki-kun, if she doesn’t come to school tomorrow, is it alright if we visit her?” Souji asks him. 

 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Naoki says, then pauses, “Um.. you just transferred here, right?” 

 

“Yes,” he responds. 

 

“Oh, cool…” a long pause, “Hope you enjoy it here,” Naoki finally says, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

 

“Thank you,” Souji says to him, grinning. He might be a different Naoki than he knew from last time, but his social awkwardness was still there, as well as many other traits. 

 

After leaving the Konishi Household, Souji walks with Yosuke and Chie down the Samegawa Floodplain. It was so nostalgic being back here. Relaxing by the Samegawa and hanging out with his friends, fishing, and feeding the stray cats were sweet memories he cherished from Inaba. He couldn’t wait to experience them again. 

 

“Sooo, I agree with what Souji-kun was talking about this morning. I think we should talk to that weird bear about what the heck’s going on!” Chie says to them energetically. 

 

“Really?” Yosuke asks, crossing his arms, “He seemed suspicious to me, Chie. I don’t trust him.”

 

“Well me neither, Yosuke! But I have a feeling he knows a lot of stuff. Like, don’t ask me how I know, cause I can’t explain it, but I just have a gut feeling!” Chie exclaims, trying to lure Yosuke in. 

 

Yosuke simply glares back at her.

 

“I agree with Chie, that bear seemed knowledgeable, and it also seemed like he was the only other living thing over there,” Souji says, while Chie nods fervently in the background. 

 

“Yeah! That too!” she chimes. 

 

“Okay, but what if he tries to attack us, huh?” Yosuke asks them. 

 

“Yosuke, that thing was totally afraid of us when we saw it last time. Didn’t you see him cower behind his hands? I doubt he’d attack us,” Chie says. 

 

“What if it’s just an act though? He could totally be planning to kill us, y’know, no matter how innocent he looks! Why should we trust this thing that comes from a place that was obviously dangerous?!” Yosuke demands, seemingly frustrated. 

 

Despite Souji’s own knowledge about Teddie, he admits Yosuke had a pretty valid point, and was being extremely cautious about the situation. Typical of both Souji and his partner. On the other hand though, imagining Teddie trying to kill them was just downright hilarious. Souji thinks of Teddie hobbling over towards the rest of the Investigation Team, flashing his claws and probably saying something like,  _ “Prepare to meet your  _ bearrible  _ end!”  _

 

Later on, when Yosuke realizes that Teddie does, in fact,  _ not _ want to harm them, Souji will probably tease him about it. He can already imagine it now. 

 

_ The entire Investigation Team at Junes, sitting around one of the off-white tables and chatting amongst each other.  _

 

_ “Hey, partner,” Souji says to Yosuke, “Remember that time you thought Teddie was going to kill us?”  _

 

_ Souji starts to chuckle as Yosuke goes red in the face, Chie laughing wildly and choking on her food as the rest of the Investigation Team stares at them with perplexed looks on their faces.  _

 

He would definitely have to remember this for that time. 

 

“Hmm, I don’t know, Yosuke,” Souji says, putting a hand on his chin, “Like Chie said, he seemed pretty harmless. Maybe we should get some kind of weapons though, in case he tries something funny.”

 

Souji absolutely did  _ not  _ want to be towed away in a police car from the Junes food court again after witnessing Yosuke flinging around his swords there. He would tell Yosuke and Chie to conceal them under their uniforms to avoid that fiasco this time. 

 

Yosuke doesn’t look like he really buys Souji’s words, but goes along with them anyways.

 

“Alright, fine, but I’m letting you lead us,” Yosuke says to him, “You’re stronger than both of us since you have that... monster-looking thing… what was it called again? And hey, how are we going to get back out of there?!” 

 

Souji hates the idea of most likely being bitten by Teddie again, but it’s the only thing to do that won’t draw suspicion to him. 

 

“I’ll stick my hand in the TV at Junes and try to see if I can call that bear over. Maybe if I ask nicely, he’ll let us out when we’re done there,” he proposes, and Chie and Yosuke agree with the plan, the latter reluctantly. It would avoid the awful rope situation, too.

 

_ Poor Chie, _ Souji reminisces.

 

And so, that’s how Souji got his  _ second  _ bite from Teddie. 

 

“Woah, holy crap! You have a bite mark on your hand!” Chie yells, pointing at Souji’s slightly wounded limb. 

 

The three had purchased a few weapons and armor from old man Daidara and were in the Junes Electronics Department now, Souji cradling his bitten hand like it was a newborn baby. 

 

_ Just as painful as last time, _ he thought. 

 

“I think I’m gonna cry,” Souji deadpans, smiling inwardly. Yukiko would’ve cracked up if she were here. 

 

“Oh please,” Yosuke says, exasperated, “You’re supposed to be the tough one here!”

 

“Hey, bear! We know you’re in there!” Chie shouts at the TV, both hands on her hips. 

 

“Ooh, ooh, is this a game?” Teddie asks back. 

 

Souji laughs a bit, he couldn’t help himself. 

 

“No, dumb bear! Listen, if we come in there, will you let us back out?” Yosuke asks angrily. 

 

“Of course I will!” Teddie responds happily, “But I need to tell you guys something  _ beary _ important! Come in!”

 

Chie scrunches up her face. “ _B_ _eary_ important? What’s up with that?” 

 

“God, who knows. Should we really trust this thing, dude?” Yosuke asks Souji, a pleading look in his eyes. 

 

“Let’s just hear what he has to say,” Souji says. 

 

He’s pretty sure he knows what Teddie is going to talk about: himself, Shadows, Personas,  _ “Are you the ones throwing people in here?!” _ the fog, etc etc…

 

Souji pushes himself inside the TV and his two friends follow. The familiar, nauseating feeling of descending into the TV hits him hard. Bright, multicolored lights flash before his eyes, and before he knows it, his side hits the ground of the studio backlot very roughly. He’d have to get used to going in here again. 

 

Sure enough, Teddie speaks of the same things. He introduces himself once he and Yosuke bicker back and forth for a while, then goes on to explain Personas and Shadows, stating that someone has been throwing people into the TV. 

 

“Throwing people in? Hey, do you think he means that announcer lady and Saki-senpai?” Yosuke asks Souji. 

 

Souji nods. “It sounds like whoever is throwing them in here wants to kill them.”

 

He hesitates for a moment, wanting to give them a piece of information, but he isn’t sure. Would it be too early?

 

After a little deliberating, he decides to just go for it. Teddie had told them enough now anyways. 

 

“I think whoever appears on the Midnight Channel is who gets thrown into this world,” Souji says. Chie, Yosuke, and Teddie all stare back at him, unblinking. 

 

Yosuke’s face suddenly lights up, looking like a cog in his head had just turned. 

 

“Hey, that actually makes sense! Chie, didn’t you say someone from school saw Ms. Yamano on the Midnight Channel?” Yosuke asks her. 

 

She nods. “Yup. I heard a kid in our class say that, like, a few days before Souji-kun transferred, and then she died.” 

 

“Mmhmm,” Yosuke hums, putting his index finger to his forehead like he was absorbing the information, “Someone else appeared on the Midnight Channel a few days ago too. I couldn’t tell who it was, but it must have been Saki-senpai.”

 

Souji is impressed. Yosuke picked up on things so quickly. It’s a mystery as to how he never found out about Souji’s crush on him. 

 

Teddie goes on to explain how the fog differs in the TV world and in their world. 

 

“The day I couldn’t sense anyone in this world anymore, there was no fog on this side. The shadows get really violent when the fog lifts here,” Teddie explains. 

 

“Ms. Yamano was found dead on a foggy day,” Souji states, sharing a look with Yosuke. He could tell his partner had already put all the pieces together, but Chie suddenly had a look of realization on her face. 

 

“Ohhhhh! I get it now!” she shouts, “If there’s fog on our side, then someone dies!” she puts a hand over her mouth, “Oh my god.”

 

Yosuke nods, eyes closed. 

 

“That sounds about right,” he says. 

 

“So, do you have any idea who threw those two people in here?” Souji asks Teddie. 

 

“Nope, that’s what I’ve been wondering,” he answers. 

 

Thankfully, Teddie doesn’t seem to think it’s them that are throwing people in the TV, probably due to rescuing Saki. 

 

“There is something else though,” Teddie starts to say, fidgeting with his paws. 

 

_ There’s more?  _ Souji thought. He was sure Teddie had covered mostly everything now. 

 

“What is it?” Souji asks him. 

 

He fidgets some more, hesitating. 

 

“What’s wrong? Spit it out!” Yosuke demands. 

 

“W-well it’s just that… that girl you saved from here yesterday… I sense something... bad from her. My nose is beary reliable, you know!” Teddie says, looking up at them. 

 

Yosuke and Chie stare back at him, both their arms crossed, unimpressed. Souji just gazes blankly in the background. Something bad?

 

“U-u-um, anyways! I didn’t sense that she was bad herself, but that there was a scary energy around her, almost as if something bad might happen to her,” Teddie continues, and Souji’s heart drops. 

 

But he had saved her.  _ They _ had saved her. There was no way something could happen now. She was one of them. 

 

“W-what? What do you mean something bad might happen to her?! Are you the one that hurt her?!” Yosuke yells at Teddie, and Teddie squeaks in fear and waddles over behind Souji, cowering. 

 

“No! Like I told you, someone threw her in here from your world!” Teddie yells back. 

 

Yosuke starts to walk over to them, full of anger. He would probably try to hit Teddie. 

 

“Yosuke,” Souji says firmly, holding out two arms and placing them on his shoulders, stopping him from moving, “Just calm down. There’s no way he could have hurt her. Remember what he said? He’s only ever been in here, on this side, not in our world. Someone from our world threw Senpai in.”

 

Souji had recalled that piece of information while Teddie was talking about everything earlier, and decided this was the best piece of evidence to use for right now. 

 

Chie tries to help as well. “Yeah, he’s right, Teddie did say that. And in any case, he’s already given us a ton of good info, and even warned us that Saki-senpai might be in danger. Does that really seem suspicious to you?” 

 

Souji could hug Chie right now if he had a free arm. He really admired her passion for truth and justice. She was willing to defend the right thing to the grave, and that was something that made it so easy for him to get along with her. 

 

Yosuke calms down a little at their words, but still has hints of rage in his eyes. 

 

And that…  _ that  _ was what Souji admired about  _ Yosuke. _ He always,  _ always _ wanted to protect those he cared about, no matter what came in his way. 

 

Souji thinks about the countless times Yosuke had thrown himself in front of him in order for Souji to avoid a fatal blow. Yosuke cared about him, that was a fact. Just the thought alone makes Souji blush as he removes his hands from Yosuke. 

 

_ Yosuke… was the first person to ever truly care about me, _ Souji thinks, glancing at his partner in front of him.  

 

_ I want him to know I care for him too.  _

 

“Teddie, is she in danger?” Souji asks. 

 

“I don’t really know. I just felt that weird aura from her, like it’s a strong possibility,” he replies. 

 

The three of them frown while Teddie looks for the right thing to say. What was she in danger from?

 

“That’s all I know… but I don’t want that girl to be hurt! I want whoever is throwing people in here to get caught and go to the slammer!” Teddie yells, holding up a paw in triumph. He looks at Souji, gaze focused. 

 

“Will you catch the culprit for me?” he asks. 

 

A familiar feeling hits Souji. This, right here, was his contract. The simple question that was the genesis of the Investigation Team, and his key into the Velvet Room. 

 

This was the promise Souji needed to fulfill, and he had failed to do that last time. He wouldn’t fail again. He would pursue the absolute truth until the very end. 

 

“I promise, Teddie,” Souji says solemnly. 

 

Just like that, his fate was sealed. 

 

“Woohoo!” Teddie shouts, grinning wildly, “I know you can do it, Sensei! With that strong Persona of yours, the world is right in your  _ bear _ hands!” 

 

“Uhhh, ‘Sensei?’ What the hell’s that mean?” Yosuke asks, looking put off by the whole situation. 

 

Souji just chuckles to himself, watching as Teddie happily wags his little nub of a tail. His insides were still twisting at the thought of Saki being in danger. He would have to investigate more on that, and keep a close eye on his new friend, making sure she was never alone.

 

He would do this properly this time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i looooooove writing about souji's feelings. my poor emotionally repressed son, he just doesn't know how to deal with all this. feel free to leave any feedback, and thank you to everyone who is supporting this fic! btw, if any of you ever wanna talk to me about souyo or persona in general, feel free to hmu at @samegawaflood on twitter, i'd love to talk!


	4. when you walked into my life (and we connected)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: slightly nsfw this chapter, in terms of sexy stuff, but nothing too overly explicit. enjoy!

_ April 15, 2011 _

 

That same evening, after talking with Teddie, Yukiko appears on the local news. Souji hadn’t spotted her at the gazebo near the Samegawa Floodplain earlier that evening, like he had last year.

 

It was strange, so many things had occurred differently from how they had last year. 

 

Yosuke didn’t face his shadow today, either. Souji had asked Teddie if he sensed any other strong shadows in the TV world, but he had said no. Did that mean… Yosuke’s shadow wasn’t there anymore, because Saki didn’t die?

 

Souji hopes that isn’t the case. As terrible as his friends’ shadows were, Yosuke had become much stronger due to accepting his, and also became a valuable member of the Investigation Team. Souji needed him; he was his right hand, his partner. 

 

He would have to check back in the TV world tomorrow and see if anything had changed. 

 

“So,” Dojima says, startling Souji from his thoughts, “How are you enjoying Inaba so far?”

 

Souji was sitting in the living room of the Dojima Residence now, eating dinner with his uncle and Nanako, and Adachi, who had joined them.  Yukiko was no longer being interviewed on television anymore, the focus having been shifted over to the weather. It would rain tonight, which means Yukiko would be on the Midnight Channel, and would be kidnapped a few days later. 

 

“I like it. The people are nice here,” Souji answers. 

 

“I’ll say,” Adachi chimes in, lifting a piece of sushi to his mouth, “Especially that gas station attendant at Moel. Man, that guy was  _ so _ over the top.”

 

“Adachi, shut up and eat your food,” Dojima scolds. 

 

“U-uh, yes sir!” Adachi responds, worriedly looking back at his plate. 

 

“Have you made any friends yet?” Nanako asks Souji. 

 

“Yes, I met three people at school,” he says to her. 

 

“Ooh, ooh, what are their names?” Nanako asks with excitement. 

 

“Their names are Saki, Chie, and Yosuke… You would like them, Nanako, especially Yosuke and Saki, they both work at Junes.” 

 

Nanako looks star-struck. “You have friends that work at Junes? That’s so cool!”

 

Dojima starts to laugh from across the table. “You really love that place, don’t you?”

 

Souji is sure Dojima hadn’t expected an answer from her, it had sounded rhetorical, but she gave him one anyways.

 

“I love Junes! They have so many cool things there! I hope that when I get older, I can work there too!” Nanako says with a bright smile. 

 

Souji couldn’t help but feel happy when he was surrounded by Nanako’s pure energy. She grew up in virtually the same environment he did as a child, minus the bustling atmosphere of the city, and yet they were still a lot different emotionally. The difference between them was that Nanako still expressed her emotions, whereas Souji’s mind was already ingrained at her age to significantly downplay what it felt. 

 

Serious and stoic, that was the foundation of his heart for 15 long years, until Inaba came around and started to undo all he had built up.

 

_ Just our luck to both get stuck with cold parents, huh, Nanako?  _ Souji thinks. 

 

_ What in the world were our grandparents like? _

 

That night, after seeing Yukiko’s outline on the TV, Souji enters the Velvet Room in his dreams, the first time since he had traveled back to the past. 

 

“Hmmhmm, what have we here?” Igor says in greeting, gesturing to seemingly nowhere. 

 

Magaret simply smiles at him, like she expected Souji to be back here. 

 

Souji explains to them what happened, trying his best to sum up what had happened in the last few days. 

 

The room fills with silence for a few moments as he finishes talking. 

 

“It seems… you did not fulfill the contract you agreed to, and now you have ended back up in the previous year. How very interesting…” Igor suddenly says, clasping his hands together. 

 

“Well, do you know how it happened?” Souji asks him. 

 

Igor doesn’t respond. Souji looks towards Margaret, but all she does is stare back at him and smile, like she knows something he doesn’t. 

 

_ Man, you guys aren’t any help at all,  _ Souji thinks bitterly. 

 

They  _ were _ the ones that were supposed to help him, right? 

 

—

 

_ April 16, 2011 _

 

The next morning, Chie, Yosuke, and Souji all discuss the Midnight Channel. They had all seen Yukiko’s outline on it last night, and Chie took to calling the inn once again, telling them she thought it was Yukiko on the TV. 

 

“Oh, thank goodness. It’s Yukiko, she’s safe!” Chie says to them, while holding her cell phone up to her ear. 

 

Souji knows that isn’t the case. Yukiko would be kidnapped tonight. 

 

“Hey, Souji,” Yosuke says, and Souji turns around in his chair to face him, “I think we should go back in the TV again today. Someone appeared on the Midnight Channel last night, and it’s apparently not Yukiko, so maybe another person is over there. I think you’re onto something with that ‘people who appear on the Midnight Channel show up in the TV world’ thing.”

 

Souji nods at him. “I agree. Someone else might really be suffering in there.”

 

There was really no reason to go into the TV, as Souji knows nobody is there yet, but Yosuke really needed to face his shadow, and Chie too for that matter. 

 

The day passes by, and Saki doesn’t show up to school again. They stop by her house after school on the way to Junes, but she’s still sleeping, and still hasn’t revealed any information to her family. 

 

“Well, she must have a concussion, i-if she’s been out this long! Right?” Chie sputters as she stands in Saki’s room. Souji, Yosuke, and Naoki all stand by.  

 

“That must be it. Naoki-kun, be sure she drinks plenty of water during the times she is awake,” Souji says, while Naoki looks over at his sister worriedly. 

 

“Yeah, okay… Is she really going to be alright?” Naoki asks, fidgeting with the cuffs of his school jacket. 

 

Souji rubs the back of his neck, thinking of Teddie’s words. 

 

_ “That girl you saved from here yesterday… I sense something… bad from her.” _

 

What did that even mean?

 

“Listen… um,” Yosuke starts. He sighs, then straightens up. The simple action added 10x more confidence to his demeanor. “Listen, Naoki-kun. I’ve worked with Saki-senpai for a long time now, and while we may not be very close, I still know what she’s like. She’s strong, relentless, and I’m sure you can sense that too. Something like this won’t stop her. She’ll get through it. Sometimes it just… takes a little time, y’know? To get back to normal.” 

 

To someone who didn’t know him well, like Souji during this exact time last year, it would seem like Yosuke was spouting useless words, but that’s not the case. Souji knows, Yosuke was a feeler. He relied on logic just as much as feelings, sure, but when Yosuke leaned more on the swirl of emotions inside of him, that was when he was truly on top of his game. Two steps ahead of everyone, while relying on his heart, that’s who Yosuke was. 

 

Naoki looks mildly shocked at Yosuke’s words, like he couldn’t believe someone he was so cold to would still empathize with him. 

 

_ That’s my partner, _ Souji thinks, pride rising inside of him. 

 

Thirty minutes later, the team is standing on the floor of the studio backlot, armed and clothed to the teeth with the weapons and armor they had bought from Daidara, while Teddie makes his way over to them. 

 

“Wow, you really came back!” Teddie says to them, happily. 

 

“Of course we did,” Souji says, smiling, “We made a promise to you.”

 

After talking more about the TV world for a while, Teddie speaks up with new information.“There’s something you guys should know.”

 

“What is it?” Chie asks. 

 

“I sense a really strong shadow nearby. It seems just like those two other people that were thrown in here,” Teddie replies. 

 

Souji tries not to let the relief show on his face. This must be Yosuke’s shadow. 

 

Souji observes his partner next to him. Yosuke is fiddling with the cord of the headphones that rest around his neck, an anxious look drawn on his face. He looks back at Souji, and instead of looking away, Souji stares back, determined to let Yosuke know he’d remain next to him. Constant, steady...

 

_ Will Yosuke’s shadow be the same as last time? With Saki alive, how much will it change?  _ Souji thinks. 

 

Although Souji knows everything will most likely be fine, (he had already done this once before, thank you very much) a shadow of doubt still resides in the back of his mind. What if something went wrong with Yosuke’s shadow? What if it somehow killed him, or all of them? What if-

 

“Hey, Teddie, can you take us to where this shadow is?” Yosuke asks, breaking Souji out of his near downward spiral. 

 

Somehow, the tables had turned, with Yosuke being the initiator and Souji overthinking everything. He scolds himself mentally.  _ He _ was the one that was supposed to be the most level-headed in the group.  _ He  _ was their leader, his friends were depending on him, and he couldn’t let them down. 

 

To Souji’s surprise, Teddie leads the three of them down to the bank of the Samegawa, instead of the Konishi Liquor Store. He had given them their glasses, so they didn’t have to worry about the fog anymore. 

 

A male figure was sitting on the stones near the river, clad in a Yasogami uniform and orange headphones around his neck. He turns around when they all approach, and those lifeless, golden eyes gleam back at them, seemingly piercing their way through Souji’s heart. There was no mistaking it, that was-

 

“M-m-me?!” Yosuke yells, pointing at his shadow in front of him. The shadow doesn’t even flinch. It simply tosses a pebble into the river, watching it skip. 

 

“Yosuke, i-is that…?” Chie starts to ask, too startled to finish. 

 

“That must be Yosuke’s shadow,” Teddie says quietly, brow furrowed.

 

Souji doesn’t know how to react, this was a new setting, new territory, and the words the shadow was about to say must be new as well. 

 

Beside him, Yosuke starts to panic, breaths coming quickly. He was visibly trembling, and starts to take a few steps backwards. 

 

“Where are you going?” the shadow suddenly says, no expression on its face, and no emotion in its voice. 

 

Yosuke stills, but has his eyes clenched shut, and his hands balled into fists at his side. 

 

“Look at me,” the shadow says, but Yosuke doesn’t budge. 

 

Souji walks over to Yosuke and very hesitantly puts a hand over his back. “Yosuke, just calm down. I know it’s hard, but if this is anything like Saki-senpai, then you just need to listen to it.” Yosuke shakes like crazy under his touch, and the shadow glares daggers at Souji. “Shut the hell up. You have no room to talk. You didn’t have a shadow.”

 

_ Ouch, alright, _ Souji thinks. 

 

He tries not to take it personally, this was a very exaggerated demonstration of Yosuke’s personality, after all. 

 

“W-what?” Yosuke suddenly speaks up, opening his eyes, “Don’t talk to him like that!”

 

“Yosuke, it’s alri-“ Souji starts, but is cut off by the shadow laughing. 

 

“Why not?” it asks, a devilish look in its eyes, “It’s not like he cares about you anyways. In fact,  _ nobody _ cares about you, ‘cause you’re just the stupid kid who came to this town and stole everyone’s jobs! On top of that, you don’t even have a  _ true  _ sense of self. Whatever the people around you act like, that’s how you act too, to fit in, right?”

 

It starts to laugh again, more wildly this time. The shadow stands up from where it was sitting, staggering and throwing both of its arms out as if trying to show them something. It was starting to get worse, Souji had to stop this. 

 

“Isn’t that a great combination? All that does is make you an annoying little  _ brat  _ that nobody wants to be around! Hell, even Saki-senpai can’t stand you, and she’s one of the nicest people ever!” it says, and the real Yosuke makes a low, angry noise in his throat. 

 

“H-hey-“ Chie starts, seemingly about to tell the shadow off, but Teddie cuts her words short. 

 

“No, Chie-chan, you’ll just make it angrier,” he says, then looks at Yosuke, “Yosuke, you have to accept its words, or else it’ll go berserk!”

 

“Teddie’s right. If you don’t accept it, it’ll be like Senpai all over again,” Souji says to him. 

 

Yosuke looks conflicted. His teeth are gritted together, and a few tears run down his face. It takes all of Souji’s willpower not to wipe them off of him. 

 

“Are you really going to listen to these  _ idiots? _ What about me?!” Shadow Yosuke yells, gesturing to himself, “They don’t know a thing about you, but me, I know  _ everything. _ I know that you hate this town, and will do anything to ease your boredom, like, say, exploring a world inside the TV?”

 

Yosuke looks at his shadow, a pleading look in his eyes. 

 

“Don’t give me that shit,” Shadow Yosuke says, crossing his arms and coming up in front of him and Souji, “You and I both know I’m right. What’s wrong, afraid to look bad in front of your new buddy here?”

 

It looks at Souji, licking its lips and smiling. Souji blushes, and grips the fabric of Yosuke’s school uniform tighter. 

 

The shadow grabs Souji by the collar of his jacket and yanks him close, so close in fact that they stand nose to nose. 

 

Despite the situation, Souji’s hormonal mind started to go haywire. Yosuke was right there (something that resembled Yosuke, at least). Yosuke, who he could kiss if he moved his lips just a millimeter. Yosuke, Yosuke,  _ Yosuke. _

 

God, why couldn’t everyone’s shadow just leave him  _ alone? _

 

“I think we should tell  _ Souji  _ here what you really think of everything. That’ll get under his skin, don’t you think?” Shadow Yosuke whispers to Souji and winks. His breath itches against Souji’s cheek. Hot, husky. Alluring and sensual. All the blood was rushing out of his head, and down to his-

 

“S-stop it,” Yosuke says, reaching out a hand to pull the shadow away. He looks absolutely mortified. 

 

The shadow swats at Yosuke’s hand and releases Souji from its grip. It walks over to Yosuke, seemingly towering over him, though they were the same exact height. 

 

“Why? Why should I stop? Why shouldn’t I say everything you’re thinking?!” Shadow Yosuke yells furiously at his counterpart. 

 

“Because… Because I…” Yosuke trails off. 

 

“Because you…. what?” the shadow asks, coyness dripping off his voice, “Don’t want to lose anyone else? Come on, we both know this little team won’t last. In a few months, maybe even weeks, the murder of that announcer will be solved, and this ‘TV world’,” it says, scowling and making air quotes, “Will be nothing more than a dream. You won’t talk much, just occasional back and forth every once in a while. Before you know it, you’ll be back at Junes stocking shelves, drowning out the world, trying desperately to not succumb to the numbness you feel. Sounds about right, don’t you think?” 

 

Yosuke tries to say something, but his shadow cuts him off. 

 

“Heh, come on,” it says, beckoning him over with a faux, sticky sweet smile on its face, “Let’s hold hands and skip back on over to Inaba! It’ll be a real treat to hear the gossip going on right about now.”

 

It loses the smile, turning cold again, “Those women who are always in the shopping district, what do they say again?  _ ‘Oh, that’s Hanamura’s kid. Don’t speak to him, that family is nothing but trouble.’ _ And the kids in the class next to yours?  _ ‘Why do none of the girls here talk to you, Hanamura? You a pansy or some shit?’ ‘Damn, that’s probably it, Akiyama!’ ‘Hey, isn’t your dad the manager of the Junes here? He should be super rich then. Why can’t he buy you a better bike than the shitty one you have? Is it ‘cause he hates you? I wouldn’t be surprised, you seem like a major disappointment.’  _ Or, Chie maybe? ‘ _ Ugh, you are so  _ useless,  _ Yosuke! I let you borrow  _ one _ thing of mine and you treat it like trash! I mean, you’re just so selfish.’  _ That’s what everyone thinks of you, and you know it’s true. You’re just arrogant, worthless trash that nobody cares about! You put on a show of being happy-go-lucky to everyone, but why even bother? Everybody, even you, knows who you really are. Entirely worthless, selfish, nothing short of disappointing.”

 

Souji glances over at Chie, who is now crying a bit too. She looks so guilty, head bent and hands stuffed in her jacket pockets. Souji knows in his heart Chie didn’t mean those words she had said, and wasn’t even thinking when she said them. Her anger often times tended to blind her, and that’s exactly what happened there. 

 

He looks back at Yosuke, who is now akin to a feral animal trapped in a cage. He reaches out to place his hand on his back again, but the shadow bats his hand away. 

 

“Fuck you! Don’t touch me! I don’t need your pity,” it says, snarling. 

 

“Stop it! Stop treating him like that, he didn’t do anything!” Yosuke yells, putting two hands on his shadows’ shoulders. The shadow backhands him, then knees him in the stomach. Yosuke curls in on himself, making pained noises. 

 

“Shut up!” Shadow Yosuke snaps, taking Yosuke by the hair and shoving his face into the ground. Chie wails, rushing over, but Souji seizes her by the waist, holding her back. 

 

“It’s hurting him! We have to stop it!” she shouts in response, flailing in Souji’s grip. 

 

“I know, Chie, but he has to face it himself. It’s his shadow, not ours,” Souji says, and Chie grows still, beginning to sob again. 

 

“You don’t care about him! You don’t care about Chie, you don’t care about  _ anybody! _ All you care about is your goddamn self. You  _ never _ think about how anyone else will feel! You think  _ you _ hate this town? Cry me a fucking river! Look around you, everyone is numb to the fucking sticks too!” the shadow yells in Yosuke’s ear. 

 

It crosses its arms, seemingly bored again. “They’ll all be leaving in a few years, but what about you? What are you doing? What’re you saving up towards, working at  _ fucking _ Junes?” Its voice starts to grow angrier, “Gonna go to college on minimum wage? Maybe rent an apartment? I don’t think so, you’ll probably be working in Inaba ‘til the day you  _ die! _ And Senpai… she’ll be leaving too. You think she’ll ever know how much you loooooove her, oh poor Yosuke?” the shadow rants on and on, voice rising and eyelashes batting while talking about Saki. 

 

“Leave her out of this!” Yosuke says, looking up from where his face was smashed into the ground. His nose was bleeding, and smears of dirt covered his entire face. 

 

“Why? Like I said before, you don’t care about  _ anyone, _ not even her,” the shadow drawls. 

 

Yosuke crawls to his knees and begins to frantically shake his head. He was pleading, and Souji knows very well, from all his encounters with his friends’ shadows in this word, that that’s something that would never work with a shadow. 

 

“Yosuke! Don’t deny it! It’s okay, everyone has a part of themselves like this, even Chie and I. It’s just exaggerating everything, your emotions are going haywire right now,” Souji says, keeping a careful distance from the shadow. Yosuke pays no attention to him though, still shaking his head. 

 

“That announcer that died… Yamano, was it? Now  _ that _ was interesting, finally, something fucking  _ happened! _ And then, poor, poor Saki,” the shadow says, wiping his eyes and sniffling, fake crying, “It’s just  _ so _ sad, those mean things she said about you, but, lucky for you!” it says, perking up immediately, “Maybe she’ll  _ die _ and then the town can have even more to talk about! Maybe you’ll even solve her murder, like a little detective! Now that sounds fun!” it finishes, clapping its hands together like it was the greatest idea since sliced bread. 

 

“I do  _ not  _ think that about her! You’re lying! Don’t listen to it, don’t listen to  _ any _ of it!” Yosuke shouts, looking at Souji, Chie, and Teddie. He starts to stand up, but it’s a futile effort, as the shadow simply knees him back into place. 

 

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear you,” the shadow states, putting a hand to its ear and grinning. Its gaze locks onto Souji, eyelids closing halfway, almost in a  _ seductive _ manner. 

 

Souji shivers violently. This wasn’t good, this was absolutely far from good. 

 

“Yosuke, stop, please,” Souji pleads to him. 

 

“I said,” Yosuke starts, “That you’re  _ lying. _ I don’t think  _ any _ of what you’ve said.”

 

Yosuke grabs his shadow by its matching school uniform, trying to push it down, but the shadow resists, grabbing both of Yosuke’s wrists with its hands. 

 

“Oh yeah? Why not?” it asks, grinning even wider. It was beginning to chuckle lowly now, as it could see Yosuke getting more and more agitated by the second. 

 

“Because…” Yosuke says, hesitating, then straightens up in the shadow’s  grip, “Because, you are absolutely  _ not me.” _

 

The shadow’s entire face lights up, baring teeth in a full-on, absolutely  _ demonic _ smile. It starts to laugh louder now, growing in intensity as it releases Yosuke. 

 

“Now, that just made my day,” the shadow says, voice so low that Souji could barely even hear. 

 

A dark cloud begins to envelop the shadow, only dissipating once it reveals its true form, Shadow Yosuke, red scarf and camouflage legs akin to an impure, twisted version of Jiraiya. 

 

Yosuke begins to collapse in front of Souji, and the latter reaches his hands under Yosuke’s arms before he can hit the ground. The shadow was leering down at Souji. He knew that look, the shadow was already preparing to attack, and by its gaze, it must be a powerful one. 

 

“Chie, Teddie, get away! Izanagi, come!” Souji yells, crushing the small, blue card, and watching as Izanagi rises forth from his body, shielding him and Yosuke from the shadow. 

 

Souji holds Yosuke in his lap, completely unconscious, as Izanagi successfully lands a Zio attack on the shadow. Shadow Yosuke staggers, then tumbles to the ground, momentarily vulnerable. Now was his chance. 

 

Souji places Yosuke gently down on the ground and stands in front of him. 

 

“Izanagi, let’s do this!” Souji shouts, a blue haze surrounding him from every angle. He feels weightless, and so, so powerful, despite knowing he had lost all of he and his persona’s previous strengths. It was something about Yosuke… something that filled him with such a raw determination to defend,  _ protect.  _

 

The fight continues on, Shadow Yosuke growing weaker and weaker, and Souji taking quite a few hits. Zio and Garu intertwine with one another, flashes of lightning and wild gale charging the air with dangerous energy, and making for a scene straight out of one of those extreme weather documentaries. 

 

Souji always thought it was fitting that he and Yosuke were weak to each other’s attacks. As soon as Souji knocked the shadow down, the shadow would get right back up and swirl Souji’s mind around with a Garu attack. They balanced each other out, one not able to be stronger than the other. Despite that, they were both relentless against the other, neither wanting to back down. 

 

“Just leave me  _ alone!  _ Leave me the fuck alone!” the shadow shouts, slamming its camouflaged limbs over and over onto the ground, “Why are you trying to get involved in my life and make it worse for me?! All you’ll do is leave me in the end!” 

 

“I won’t leave you, Yosuke,” Souji says softly, but that just makes the shadow even more agitated. 

 

It suddenly grows very still, then starts to dissipate, turning back into the human form of Shadow Yosuke. Souji glances back to where the real Yosuke lays, but he wasn’t budging. He looks back in front of himself, but Shadow Yosuke is no longer there. 

 

“Looking for me?” a voice whispers in Souji’s ear. He tries to turn around, but is punched hard in the face before he can answer and blacks out, falling to the ground.  

 

*****

 

When Souji opens his eyes, the disoriented sight of Shadow Yosuke on top of his body greets him. They were no longer on the Samegawa riverbed, but were now located in a seemingly endless room with little lighting. The floor, walls, and ceiling were completely covered in moving red and black lines. It was like the entrance to a dungeon, but they weren’t falling through it. Souji tries to push the shadow off of him, but can’t seem to move his hands. As he tries to focus his gaze better on the shadow, he sees that it has pinned his hands above his head, and is straddling his waist. 

 

_ Great, this is just fantastic, _ Souji thinks, frustrated.  _ Why not just have the manifestation of my best friend’s inner thoughts positioned over me missionary style? Wonderful. Hey, why don’t you just rip my clothes off while you’re at it, why not! _

 

Souji tries to move again, but the shadow is too strong for him. 

 

“Yosuke, let me go,” Souji says. 

 

“No,” the shadow responds simply. 

 

Souji sighs, looking up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of where they’re at. It was no use, he had never been here before, wherever this was. 

 

“Where are the others? Will you at least tell me that?” he asks. 

 

“Mmmm, nope.” 

 

“Alright, then what are we doing here?” Souji grunts, irritated. Just trying to reason with a fucking shadow, no big deal. 

 

“I wanted somewhere we could go, just you and me,” it says, cold, golden eyes staring down at him. 

 

“To do what?”

 

“Talk.” 

 

“About…?”

 

“Me.”

 

“Yosuke, you’re hurting me… my arms.”

 

“That’s the point, isn’t it?”

 

It grips Souji’s wrists more firmly. He was going to lose circulation, definitely. 

 

“Stop it, you know you don’t really want to do this. It’s me, Souji, remember? I want to help you.”

 

“I don’t want your fucking help. Why are you so nice to me anyways?”

 

“Because you’re my best friend,” Souji says without thinking. 

 

_ “I’m  _ your best friend? You’ve only known me for, like, three days,” it says. 

 

“I… I just know we’re going to be good friends in the future, is what I mean…”

 

The shadow scoffs, then leans down to Souji’s ear and begins to speak. 

 

“Do you wanna know why I really brought us here,  _ partner?”  _ it whispers, hot and heavy. 

 

Partner? Why was he saying th-

 

“In layman’s terms, we’re in your dreams, Souji. But what I really mean is that I’m in your head, your unconscious. I know  _ everything _ you’re thinking. I know all about this time travel thing you have going on.”

 

His stomach fell. 

 

“W-what do you mean? How do you know about that?!” Souji asks, turning his head to look at Shadow Yosuke face on. 

 

The shadow places a finger on Souji’s lips, face very close to Souji’s own. 

 

“Shhhh, partner. I’m in your head, remember? Anyways, there’s something more important I wanted to talk about,” it says, pausing, “I know you like me. You love me, right? You really,  _ really  _ love me, Souji.”

 

“No I-I don’t. I don’t! Yosuke, get off of me,  _ please!” _ Souji yells, trying with all his might to push the shadow off of him, but it was like its body had been cemented to him. 

 

“You’re so cute, Souji. You want me to hold you harder?” it asks, now digging its fingernails into Souji’s wrists, “You love me, Souji. I know what you’re thinking: does Yosuke know I like him now? Does he know I traveled back in time? He doesn’t, partner, don’t worry. It’s just you and me.”

 

“What do you mean he doesn’t know?” Souji asks. 

 

“He doesn’t know ‘cause he’s not here. Hm, I guess when I knocked you out, I blacked out with you. I don’t know how that happened, don’t ask me,” the shadow responds, momentarily looking almost as clueless as Souji, an emotion he’s never seen a shadow wear. “All I know is that he doesn’t, ‘cause I can hear his thoughts too. I must be in your mind somehow... and because I’m the only one in your head, nobody else knows.” 

 

_ This is really fucking weird. This is just stupid, _ Souji thinks. 

 

“Yeah, I know,” the shadow says in response to Souji’s thoughts. He really could hear them. 

 

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Souji mumbles. He genuinely doesn’t. Why was this even happening? How was this happening?

 

“Can we please go back? I want to get out of here,” Souji asks. 

 

“I don’t think we can. Most likely you will need to wake up in the real world.” 

 

“Then, can you please let go of me now?”

 

“No, not until you talk to me.”

 

“What the hell am I supposed to say?! You already know what I’m thinking, why do I have to say it out loud?”

 

“Because I want to hear it. I want validation from you. You’re better than me.”

 

Silence passes for a few seconds, and Souji gradually loses his edge. “You’re not better than me, Yosuke,” he says softly, “Look into my thoughts more. Do you see us fighting, out by the riverbed? You know why we were fighting? It’s because you brought up the idea to me. You felt like you and I were unequal at the time, and wanted to fight with me to get equal. We’re… we’re partners, and we’re supposed to be equal to each other. Neither is better than the other.”

 

The shadow looks away from Souji, lips turned down and expression bitter. Something had changed in the shadow in the last few minutes. It was starting to seem… almost like the real thing. It was unsettling. 

 

“Souji… why do you love me? I don’t really understand. How can we be equal when I’m worthless compared to you?” it asks. 

 

“Yosuke, let me go, please,” Souji begs, and the shadow finally complies. Souji hesitates, but then decides to place his hand on Yosuke’s face, stroking his thumb over its cheek. Thankfully, the shadow doesn’t get angry. 

 

“You don’t understand now, but in the future, I think you will. The  _ real  _ you. You and I… we’re  _ partners, _ Yosuke. We depend on each other and, well… personally, I feel as though I need you,” Souji says, voice growing quiet. 

 

The shadow lays a hand on Souji’s cheek as well, caressing him. It was so tender, so surreal, and Souji’s eyes began to well up with tears. This wasn’t fair. It was humiliating, having Yosuke, but not  _ really _ having him. He couldn’t help but get caught up in it. 

 

“Don’t cry,” the shadow says, wiping some of his tears. 

 

“Y-Yosuke…” Souji sobs a little, “I can’t tell you, because I know you’ll hate me. I just can’t, our friendship is too important to me. I never, ever want to lose you. Y-you… You kind of just… make me feel whole, and happy. I’d do anything to see you smile.”

 

Souji looks up at the shadow, and runs his hand through its hair a little bit. The shadow leans into the touch, smiling warmly down at Souji. Their faces were so close that Souji could feel its breath on his face. 

 

“I do love you, partner. I want you to feel loved by me… I want you to feel happy with me. You deserve all the happiness you receive, and I want to be the one to always make you happy. I… I want… I want my life with you, Yosuke. I just…” Souji trails off, too overwhelmed to finish.

 

More tears fall down his face, and the shadow continues to wipe them away. Why did this have to happen to him? 

 

“Partner, indulge me for a little bit,” Shadow Yosuke says, putting its forehead to Souji’s. Its eyes were half-lidded, and somehow, the cold gaze had been replaced with one filled with adoration. 

 

“What do you mean?” Souji says quietly, searching its eyes. 

 

“I don’t feel entirely like a shadow. I feel somewhat disconnected from myself. I don’t know...” the shadow says, “I want… I want to just hold you, and love you how you should be loved.”

 

“Yosuke…” Souji hesitates. This was probably just the worst idea, ever. 

 

“Partner, please,” Shadow Yosuke whispers. Its nose rubs against Souji’s, and its lips lightly graze his own every now and then, “Please.”

 

Souji presses his mouth to the shadow’s, kissing it with everything he has. Their mouths stumble upon each other, and the shadow’s lips were surprisingly warm. It felt so  _ real. _

 

Souji sobs into the kiss, and the shadow gives him many gentle kisses, as if trying to soothe him. 

 

“I love you, Souji,” the shadow whispers when the two pull their lips slightly away, “You’re my partner, I love you. I want you to tell me one day.”

 

They exchange small kisses, Souji’s hands finding the shadow’s waist and pulling it closer. 

 

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” Souji responds. 

 

The kiss begins to get more heated after a few minutes, and their tongues find one another, intertwining. Souji’s hands rake through the shadow’s hair, down its back, and around its waist. It was so close, so hot, so raw. The shadow moans a little. 

 

“Tell me one day,” it whispers to Souji, before diving back into the kiss. 

 

They continue like that for a few minutes, ravaging each other’s lips, I love you’s being spoken into the space between them every so often. 

 

“Partner, I think you’re about to wake up,” Shadow Yosuke suddenly says. 

 

“No, nononono, please, Yosuke-“

 

“I’m sorry, partner. I really am, but please, will you promise me? Promise to tell me someday, how you feel about me?” the shadow asks, golden eyes pleading with him. 

 

Souji sobs loudly, but nods his head. The shadow holds out a pinky finger, and Souji raises his own, tangling them together. 

 

“I… I promise you, Yosuke,” he says, choking on tears. 

 

The shadow smiles at him, a full-blown, over the moon smile. Souji thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

 

*****

 

Souji wakes up and sees Yosuke’s shadow sprawled next to him. They were at the riverbed again, and unknown hands were prodding Souji’s body, seemingly trying to wake him up. His lips were tingling, and his heart felt heavy. 

 

Souji locks eyes with the shadow, and it smiles at him, nodding its head. Souji nods back. 

 

“Souji-kun, Souji-kun! Oh my god, you’re awake!” he hears Chie’s voice, followed by Teddie’s, “Sensei!”

 

The shadow and Souji both stand up from where they were laying, and make their way over to the real Yosuke, who was now awake, looking like he’d seen a ghost. The shadow offers an arm to Yosuke, and he takes it, standing up to meet him at eye level. 

 

“Yosuke,” Souji says weakly, trying not to cry all over again, “You have to accept it. It’s a part of you, and it’s not fair to deny it.”

 

Yosuke crosses his arms and looks downcast, but walks towards the shadow nevertheless. He stands there for a few minutes, before beginning to speak.   

 

“I… I didn’t want to admit it, but what you said was true. I do feel that way. I don’t see myself as particularly worthwhile, and… truthfully, I liked the thrill of going into this TV world. I hoped to be a savior, or something,” Yosuke says begrudgingly, looking up at the shadow, “Everything you said was true, and... you’re a part of me. There’s no use in denying it.”

 

The shadow nods, and looks discreetly at Souji to give him one last smile before it disappears and transforms into Jiraiya. Yosuke holds a hand over his heart and drops to his knees. 

 

“This is my Persona, huh?” he says. 

 

—

 

It takes a while, a  _ long _ while, but Souji manages to walk Yosuke to his house after the battle. Yosuke has an arm wrapped around Souji’s waist to support himself, and Souji can’t help but lean into it, thinking about what had happened with the shadow. 

 

The two stop in front of the front door to Yosuke’s house. Yosuke looks at Souji, still holding onto his waist, an arm thrown around his shoulder. 

 

“Hey, thank you for all your help back there, Souji. I can’t imagine how much that took out of you,” he says, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “And… thank you, for not ditching me, even after all that my Shadow said. You’re an amazing guy, you know that?”

 

Souji smiles, taking in Yosuke’s beauty as the evening sun shone on his face. His freckles were more visible now, dotting his face like constellations in the night sky, and a goofy smile adorned his lips. He was so perfect, in every way. 

 

“Thank you, Yosuke. You’re pretty amazing yourself,” Souji says, rubbing his shoulder a bit. 

 

“Heh, I don’t know,” Yosuke responds, removing his hand from Souji’s waist and making his way towards the door, “I think… I’m gonna sleep well tonight.”

 

A slight wind brushes through Souji’s hair. Yosuke looks back at him, eyes sincere and hopeful. Absolutely perfect. 

 

“Yeah, you do that, partner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had soooooo much fun writing this chapter, goodness. i love these boys so much y’all i hope they’re always doing fine.


	5. showbiz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaa first of all thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos, comments, or simply just enjoyed this fic!!!!! It means the world :D. Second of all I’m so sorry this chapter has taken so long... I’ve encountered a bad writers block as well as a decline in my mental health and it’s so hard to write even a sentence. I’m working on it though, as I really love this fic and the support everyone has given me. Pls bear with me through this block lol I’d really appreciate it. Enjoy :) WARNING: allusions to child abuse/neglect through Souji’s thoughts this chapter

_ April 17, 2011 _

 

That morning, Souji is awoken to the sound of Chie’s incessant knocking at his front door. 

 

“S-Souji! This is really bad, I-I mean it’s just terrible! Yukiko’s gone missing!” Chie shouts at him, tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

 

Souji already knew this, of course, and had seen Yukiko’s shadow on the Midnight Channel last night as well, but seeing Chie helpless at his doorstep didn’t didn’t make it any easier this time. 

 

“Alright Chie, it’s okay...” Souji says, making an easing motion with his hands. He looks behind him to see if Dojima is around, but he doesn’t spot him. Must already be at the station. Nanako is sitting at the TV watching the quiz show, so he lowers his voice. “You saw the Midnight Channel last night, yeah?” 

 

Chie nods her head. 

 

“You think… she’s in that world?” she sniffs, clenching her fists underneath her green jacket. 

 

Souji stares at Chie wordlessly. He’s sure she already knew the answer to that question. 

 

Chie calls up Yosuke, and the three head into the TV world thirty minutes later with their weapons stashed under their clothes, and Teddie leads them to Yukiko’s castle. Chie rushes ahead like before, leaving Yosuke and Souji to run after her. 

 

Sure enough, a few floors up, they encounter Chie and her shadow. 

 

The shadow and Yukiko’s voice spoke virtually the same words as last time, but Souji feels the impact of their words much deeper than last. 

 

_ “Still, Chie told me that red looks good on me… Chie’s the only one that gives my life meaning.” _

 

_ “She says she’s worthless! That’s how it should be right? When Yukiko looked at me with such jealousy, man, did I get a charge out of that!” _

 

_ “Yukiko can’t do anything if I’m not around… I’ll never loosen my grip on her.” _

 

It was… so vile, hearing it all again. Despite this being an exaggeration, the words struck a chord in Souji. He was beginning to feel really, really angry. How could Chie think something like that, how could she possibly view Yukiko as something to be controlled? How could she-

 

“Chie! You just have to accept it, it’s okay!” Yosuke shouts, breaking him from his thoughts momentarily. 

 

Chie stands before them, shaking and breathing laboriously. Her entire body is stiff, and her expression shows clear, unabashed fury.  

 

_ Choking. Choking… he’s choking... _

 

_ “You can do better than this, Souji! If you didn’t waste your time and applied yourself, you could do better!” _

 

_ Someone was screaming at him, loudly. Distant, but close at the same time.  _

 

_ In, out… In, out…  _

 

_ “How many times do we have to do this? Do you know how lazy you are? How selfish? Do you really study? How do you manage to get scores like these if you’re supposedly always studying? You’re useless.” _

 

_ No, I’m not… I’m not. Am I? Useless? I’m useless?  _

 

_ Let me go. I can’t breathe.  _

 

_ “Look at me! Don’t you have anything to say for yourself? Why are you so tired all the time? Instead of resting, you could be studying! Why are you always so angry at me? Do you know how much I do for you? You should be grateful for what I provide you.” _

 

_ Let me go, let me go, let me go, le- _

 

_ Against the wall... Straining, straining... _

 

_ I can’t breathe!  _

 

_ Let me go, let me go, l- _

 

_ “Don’t ever ask me to help you in the future, Souji. No one will care about you then. No one will want you. You’re pathetic, you’re lazy, and you don’t care about anyone else. You don’t have any empathy.”  _

 

_ I do care, I do... But you only ever see one side of me. Please, just let me- _

 

_ “Don’t you dare touch me.” _

 

_ Eyes closed... one, two... one two... Stop it, stop it, stop hurting me… It’s not supposed to be like this. You’re supposed to protect me. Aren’t you? _

 

_ Stop it stop it stop it stop it s _

 

Chie had her hands wrapped around her shadow’s throat, pinning it against a red wall. 

 

“You son of a bitch! I’d never think that about Yukiko!” she yells, spit flying into the shadow’s face. 

 

A sinister grin and dark eyes are all Chie gets back, until her shadow self is cackling in her face, beginning the transition to Tomoe. 

 

Souji was rooted to the spot, and joined Chie in her furious trembling. 

 

_ Why am I acting like this?  _

 

_ Stop it. This isn’t about you right now.  _

 

But he couldn’t shake the feeling. 

 

“Souji, let’s go! Chie needs our help!” Yosuke calls to him, summoning Jiraiya in the process. 

 

_ Do you need me? Do you want me?  _

 

_ Are you helpless without me? _

 

_ Yosuke, what do you gain from me? I need you. I want you.  _

 

_ We’re partners. We’re equal. That’s okay, that’s fine. It’s okay then if we’re equal.  _

 

—

 

“Souji… up…. okay…? Souji, wake up, please!”

 

Yosuke and Teddie are looking down at him, the familiar sight of the studio backlot behind their blurred faces. Someone’s hand is on his forehead. Probably Yosuke’s.  

 

“Jiraiya…” he hears Yosuke say, and moments later, a warm sensation passes through his body. A healing spell. 

 

“Thank you, Yosuke,” Souji gets out, weakly. He tries to look around, and spots a figure a few feet away from him. 

 

“Chie,” Souji tries to call, “Are you-“ 

 

“Chie’s fine. She’s just tired. I defeated her shadow. Everything’s okay,” Yosuke says to him, quick and to the point. “Just lay down for a minute, okay, Souji? You took a really bad beating back there.”

 

“What happened…?” he asks. 

 

“Chie-chan’s shadow knocked you out, Sensei!” Teddie says, trying to speak quietly but failing.

 

Souji looks at Yosuke for an explanation. 

 

“It’s true. I don’t really know what happened… I guess you weren’t paying attention and it landed a clean hit on you. I couldn’t get you to wake up at all during the battle, no matter how many revival beads or healing spells I used,” he replies, a worried expression covering his face. 

 

“‘S okay,” Souji says, slurring his words from fatigue, “‘S alright.”

 

“Yeah, okay, let’s get you home,” Yosuke says. 

 

“Chie…” Souji starts, but Yosuke cuts him off.  

 

“Is fine. She got her persona after accepting her shadow, and now she’s just super tired. I have to get you both home. Here, take my hand,” he says, reaching out to help Souji up. 

 

“Partner,” Souji starts, unfiltered in his delirious state. 

 

“Hmm?” Yosuke replies. 

 

“Thank you,” Souji says, taking his hand, and making his way into the other side of the TV. Yosuke had he and Chie on either side of him, supporting them, and Souji had no idea how he was doing it.  

 

—

 

“Welcome home! Oh, who’s this?” Nanako says as Souji and Yosuke make their way into the Dojima household. 

 

“Nanako, this is Yosuke, my friend from school. Yosuke, this is Nanako, my little cousin,” Souji says tiredly.

 

“Hi there, Nanako-chan,” Yosuke waves a hand at her, and smiles sweetly. 

 

“H-hello…” she says shyly. 

 

“Nanako, this is one of my friends who works at Junes,” Souji says, watching as her eyes suddenly light up.  

 

“Oh! You’re that Yosuke!” she says incredulously. 

 

“Been talking about me, have you, partner?” Yosuke teases, and Souji blushes in return. 

 

After talking with Nanako about Junes for a bit and promising to take her soon, Yosuke helps Souji up to his room and in his bed. 

 

“Thank you for helping me, Yosuke,” Souji says. 

 

“Don’t mention it,” Yosuke says, then hesitates, “Hey, did something happen back there…?” 

 

Souji tenses. His feelings were something he liked to keep safely tucked away in the corners of his heart, so why were they suddenly re-surfacing? 

 

But Yosuke… Yosuke was his best friend, his partner, he could trust him. 

 

“It was uh... I was just a little uncomfortable by Chie’s shadow,” he says carefully. 

 

“Yeah, I was too. I can’t believe how much she was holding in, but I guess I can’t really talk, huh?” Yosuke replies, fidgeting with headphones, “Hey, I wonder why you didn’t have a shadow?”

 

Souji’s stomach pools with dread at the thought of himself having a shadow. What kind of horrors he would hear from it, he doesn’t want to know. 

 

“I don’t know, Yosuke, but honestly, I’m really grateful,” he says and means it. 

 

“Heh, I would be too. Listen… if something’s bothering you, please tell me, okay? We’re in this TV business together now, and we have to be there for each other. Um… I want to be there for you, as your partner…” Yosuke trails off, scratching the back of his neck. 

 

“I want to be there for you too, Yosuke, I really do,” Souji says, and they both share a smile. 

 

“Well, I should probably get going now. You have my number, right? Call me if you need something,” Yosuke says, idly scraping his foot against the floor. 

 

“Likewise,” Souji replies. 

 

“Goodnight, Souji. Get some rest,” Yosuke bids him goodbye, then heads out the door.  

 

_ I want you to need me.  _

 

—

 

_ April 18, 2011 _

 

The next morning, on the walk to school, Souji spots Saki walking as well, and his heart fills with relief. 

 

“Senpai!” Souji shouts, and Saki looks back at him happily. 

 

“Hi, Souji-kun!” she says, brushing some hair out of her face, “I’m finally feeling a bit better. I can’t believe how long I was out!” 

 

“I know, we came to visit a lot. Your brother seemed like a really big help,” Souji says to her, and Saki rolls her eyes playfully. 

 

“Hmph, yeah, he’s sorta cold, but he’s a good guy. I hope he didn’t cause any trouble,” she replies, laughing a bit. 

 

“None at all. I’m just happy you’re better, Senpai,” Souji says truthfully. 

 

As they approach Yasogami, the morning bell begins to ring. 

 

“Let’s talk later, Souji-kun. There’s a lot we need to discuss. Bye!” Saki waves and heads off to her classroom. 

 

Souji’s mind wanders as he sits in class, not listening to what Mr. Yamada is teaching them. Chie fidgets every so often next to him, and he places his hand on her shoulder each time. 

 

Things were so different than they were in the last run, and that made Souji anxious. He couldn’t tell if these differences would be good or bad in the future, or even have no effect.

 

Even so, why was it so different? Why did everyone around him seem just a little bit off? It was as if the carefree atmosphere of Inaba went up a few notches since Souji “time-traveled” or whatever.  

 

Something light hits the back of Souji’s head, and he sees a small object fall out of the corner of his eye: a balled up piece of paper. He looks behind him at Yosuke, who simply looks pointedly at the paper. 

 

Souji unfolds the paper and reads what is undoubtedly Yosuke’s handwriting. 

 

TV today?

 

Souji looks behind him once more and nods his head, smiling. Yosuke gives him a thumbs up. 

 

After class, Souji gathers Yosuke and Chie with him, explaining that Saki is well again and that they all need to talk. 

 

“Saki-senpai’s back?! How… how is she?” Yosuke asks, a mix of emotions spread across his face. 

 

“You’ll see, let’s go,” Souji beckons them, and they head off. 

 

**

 

“So… this Shadow thing… everyone has one?” Saki asks the group. 

 

They had sat her down and explained everything that had happened, including what Shadows and Personas were, and the terminology that came along with it. 

 

“Yes, everyone does. Well, I didn’t have to face mine for some reason, but that doesn’t change the fact that everyone has one, whether they are faced or not,” Souji explains. The fact that his shadow never manifested still irks him, and is something he frequently ponders over. 

 

Saki nods and laces her fingers together on the school desk she sits at, biting her lip in thought. 

 

“I’m sorry… for what happened with my shadow, Souji-kun and Hana-chan, it sounds awful. I… I… just…” Saki trails off. 

 

“Senpai, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. Your shadow is only one part of yourself,” Yosuke says, smiling encouragingly. 

 

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks,” Saki replies gratefully. 

 

“The thing is, Senpai, someone must’ve kidnapped you like they’ve done with Yukiko, and it was probably because you were the one who found Mayumi Yamano’s body that day. Do you remember anything strange that happened?” Souji asks. 

 

“I don’t, I’m really sorry. All I remember is that I made a statement at the police station then went home. I don’t remember anything after that,” Saki says, looking disappointed at herself. 

 

“No one followed you home or anything?” Chie asks. 

 

Saki shakes her head. “Like I said, I don’t remember anything.”

 

Souji shares a look with Yosuke and Chie. What could have possibly happened to Saki? Was it Namatame again, or something entirely different?

 

“Well, Senpai, we want to find out what’s happening in Inaba and put a stop to it, or else more people are just going to end up hurt. Since you have a persona, you’d be a lot of help to us. You don’t have to decide now, but-“ Souji says, but is cut off by Saki’s interjection. 

 

“I want to help you. I want to help in any way I can. I don’t want people to end up like how I could’ve. You guys… saved my life. Please let me help,” she says, gazing at the three with pure motivation in her eyes. 

 

“Of course,” Souji says, smiling warmly. Yosuke and Chie chime in with agreements in the background. 

 

Saki smiles at them, tears forming in her eyes. A warm sensation spreads across Souji’s chest, and he sees the image of a tarot card flashing before his eyes. The Magus. Saki Konishi. 

 

Saki’s bond now rested within his heart, alongside Yosuke and Chie, and everyone else he would meet again this year. It was comforting, it was safe, and “safe” was what Souji needed this year. 

 

Saki agrees to accompany them into the TV that day to rescue Yukiko, and meets Teddie, who, conveniently, had crafted a pair of glasses for her. 

 

“Well, I just made them because I was beary bored in here all alone! But I suppose you can have them now,” he had said to Saki, who simply laughed in return. 

 

“What a funny little bear!” she said between peals of laughter. 

 

Saki proved to be amazing in battle, Inari Ōkami blasting away shadows with intermittent blazes of fire and incredible physical attacks. She even put Souji to shame, who now had his high level personas from his previous run with him, by some grace of the Velvet Room. By the end of the day, she was still raring to go, but Souji decided it was best to stop right before confronting Shadow Yukiko, as the rest of them were exhausted. It pained him to know his dear friend was just on the other side of that door, suffering, but there was no way they could defeat her shadow today. 

 

Hang in there, Yukiko. We’ll be back tomorrow. 

 

After exiting the TV world, which Saki also found to be a humorous experience, Souji and Yosuke waved goodbye to Chie and Saki and walked home together. 

 

“Saki-senpai’s amazing, isn’t she? I mean, I had no idea she was so strong,” Yosuke gushed. 

 

“Yeah, she’s pretty great. All of us are,” Souji replies, nudging Yosuke a bit, who rubs his nose behind a grin in return. 

 

—

 

_ April 19, 2011 _

 

_ “Historic inn? Manager training? I’m sick of all of these things chaining me down!” _

 

_ “Everything’s decided for me. From how I live, to where I die!” _

 

_ “I’m completely useless…” _

 

Once again, the words the shadow spoke struck a chord within Souji, weighing down his heart. Maybe it was because he now knew these people as his closest friends, rather than strangers, or maybe it was for a completely different reason, but in any case, it made Souji feel absolutely awful to hear their words this time around. 

 

_ “No one wants to spend time with you because of how angry you are all the time, you know that, Souji? All you do for anyone is cause trouble. Go away, I don’t want to see you.” _

 

_ Okay, alright. Drown it out. Just drown it out, just drown it out, just drown it out.  _

 

Visions of greed you wallow 

 

Visions of greed you wallow

 

Visions of greed you —  _ yes, nobody wants me. Nobody cares. My life was meant to be spent alone. I deserve this. I brought it upon myself.  _

 

Controlling my feelings for too long

 

Controlling my feelings for too long

 

_ There’s a storm outside. It used to frighten me, but not anymore. I used to panic, but not anymore.  _

 

And forcing our darkest souls to unfold

 

And forcing our darkest souls to unfold 

 

_ Long days, long nights. It’s so hot. Is today Tuesday? No, Wednesday. No… Sunday. I think it’s Sunday. Why is it so hot? What am I going to do? I look up at Orion every morning, what am I going to do? I really want to know more about the pyramids. Yeah, the pyramids…  _

 

And pushing us into self destruction

 

And pushing us into self destruction

 

_ Oh, they left. 2 weeks, right? What should I eat tonight? I’ll stop and get things at 7-11 after school tomorrow. Right, homework. Translate the word: happiness. Happiness? Happiness… oh, right. _

 

“Ugh, this is such bullshit!” Chie shouts, summoning Tomoe in the process, “Let’s finish this shadow off, come on guys!” 

 

Shadow Yukiko towers over them, bringing destruction to the floor with every attack. The shadow swings from side to side in its cage, swooping through the air like an endless metronome. 

 

“Hah, you think you can stop me? I’m Yukiko Amagi. I’m better than everybody. No one can conquer the Amagi Challenge,” the shadow drawls in its distorted voice, unleashing a flame attack that significantly brings down everybody’s health.  

 

“We can do this! Let’s defeat this shadow and get Yukiko-chan out of here!” Saki shouts, casting a healing spell on the team. 

 

“Yeah, let’s finish this!” Yosuke chimes in, landing a critical hit on the shadow’s princely reinforcements. 

 

“Keep fighting, everyone! Let’s go, Mada!” Souji yells, crushing the blue tarot card between his fist, and feeling raw power course through his body. 

 

_ “Your father and I will be working overseas for a year. In the meantime, you’ll be staying with your uncle in a town about 4 hours from here. You had better behave and make good grades while you’re there. Don’t even bother trying to make friends, no one will care about you. Just focus on your studies. Your train leaves tomorrow morning. Goodbye.”  _

 

Mada’s Brave Blade rips through the shadow, bringing its health down almost completely. Just a little bit more… 

 

_ “The prognosis for Nanako is not good. It will be a miracle if she recovers from this. I’m sorry, Dojima-san.” _

 

_ “Please… don’t throw me in there! I promise, I just wanted to save them. I never intended to hurt anybody, I thought I was keeping them safe. Please, hear me out!” _

 

_ “Souji-kun, stop it!” _

 

_ “Senpai, leave him alone!” _

 

_ “Do it partner, come on, throw him in.” _

 

_ Did I make the right choice? Was Namatame truly innocent? What do I do now? Who is the real culprit here?  _

 

_ Mind control. Mind control. Mind control. Yosuke’s attacking him. Stop it, partner, stop it! Just break out of this, don’t let him control you… Yukiko joins him, soon his whole team is against him. Their attacks are brutal, there was no way Souji could survive this.  _

 

_ “No one will care about you. No one will love you.” _

 

_ God’s Hand. Megidola. Agidyne. Garudyne. Primal force.  _

 

_ Make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop please make it stop _

 

_ Don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me. You’re supposed to protect me. You’re supposed to love me.  _

 

“Tomoe, one more time!” Chie kicks the gleaming card in front of her, and in less than a second the shadow is down, transforming back into its human form. 

 

Just like before, Yukiko accepts her shadow, and Konohana Sakuya’s beautiful form rains down upon all of them. 

 

“It was me who needed you,” Yukiko said, bringing Chie in for a hug. The two latched onto each other as if their lives depended on it.  

 

_ So… so… which is it, then?  _ Souji thought, watching Yosuke’s smile instead of the reunited friends. 

 

Yosuke looked at him then, and Souji didn’t even have the grace to look away, to act like he wasn’t looking at all. He simply stared back, his hands trembling in his pockets. 

 

Yosuke walked over to him, blushing, and simply stood right by his side as the girls (and Teddie, in a corner) continued to cry on each other’s shoulders. He held his head high towards them, but was looking at Souji out of the corner of his eye. “I think they need  _ each other.” _

 

Chie let out a particularly loud sob, and all the tension in the room seemed to disperse. Souji sighed and leaned in towards Yosuke, the entirety of his left side almost touching Yosuke’s right. Yosuke smiled, and shifted so that it was. 

 

Before leaving the TV world, Teddie stops them. 

 

“Sensei, promise you’ll come visit me?” Teddie asks, fiddling with his paws. Souji feels his heart sink. He had been neglecting Teddie, too busy trying to make sure everyone else was fine. He can’t even imagine what it must be like for Teddie in here. 

 

“I will, Teddie. I’ll come visit tomorrow, okay?” Souji promises, and Teddie’s face lights up

 

“Sure thing, Sensei!” he shouts happily. 

 

After the group talks with Teddie for a bit, Chie and Souji walk Yukiko home, while Saki and Yosuke go their respective ways. 

 

After making sure Yukiko got to her bed safely, Souji decides to walk Chie home as well. 

 

“It’s so strange, hearing all of that from Yukiko. Yukiko is like, the kindest person ever, and I just hate that she feels so pressured by everything,” Chie says during the walk, looking downcast. 

 

“Well, one thing is for certain,” Souji says, and when Chie casts him an inquisitive look, he continues, “She obviously looks up to you. You’re important to her. Your issues have been set out before each other and now it’s up to you both to work through them together. She needs your support and you need hers in order to get through this, don’t you think?”

 

Chie nods slowly, taking a deep breath. 

 

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right, Souji-kun. I want to support her. I will support her, there’s no question about that!” Chie says enthusiastically, and Souji grins. 

 

“You two have a great friendship. Don’t ever take it for granted,” he says. 

 

“You’re really smart, Souji-kun. And you give good pep talks. Maybe you should be a therapist one day,” Chie jokes, stopping in front of her house, “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you… for your help. Goodnight!” 

 

“Goodnight, Chie. See you tomorrow,” Souji replies. 

 

When Souji arrives home, Dojima is there for once, sitting at the living room table with Nanako, eating takeout. 

 

“Oh, you’re home!” Nanako points out happily. 

 

“Hey, Souji. Come sit down and eat. I bought us some dinner,” Dojima says, gesturing to the empty cushion on the floor. 

 

“You still liking Inaba, kid?” Dojima asks as Souji sits and takes his chopsticks.  

 

“It’s certainly interesting,” he replies, and Dojima laughs. 

 

“I hear ya, but hey, don’t get involved in anything funny. There’s a lot of strange stuff going around here lately,” Dojima says, switching from the quiz show to the news channel, which Nanako pouts at. 

 

_ “...According to the Inaba Police Station, high schooler Yukiko Amagi is still reported missing. The Amagi Inn’s future manager has been MIA since the evening of April 16th. If anyone knows any information of her whereabouts, please contact…”  _

 

“I won’t, Uncle, don’t worry,” Souji replies, and that was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any feedback you have if you would like to!!!! I love to hear from ppl and get some insight so I can improve my writing!


	6. mirrorball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [bursts thru ur front door] hello again everybody I’m sorry to update so late again but work and school take up everyday of my week so I don’t get much free time! Anyways, I hope u all enjoy this chapter and as always pls feel free to leave feedback!

_ “Do you ever feel… Do you ever feel like… maybe you’re not good enough?”   _

 

That was the question Chie had asked him almost an entire year ago.

 

They were sitting on the bank of the Samegawa after an intense round of kicking, punching, and general flailing around the riverbed. Chie’s face had looked cloudy, something devoid residing along the creases of her forehead. 

 

_ “Not good enough for who?”  _ Souji had asked. 

 

_ “The world… I guess.” _

 

_ She fidgets with her multicolored armbands, her dark mood a stark contrast from their bright reflection in her eyes. The evening sun was uncomfortable, and so was late August.  _

 

_ A beat passes.  _

 

_ “A lot.” _

 

_ Chie whips her head around to stare at Souji, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly, then she grows still, grimacing at the grass beneath her.  _

 

_ “Really?” _

 

_ A group of middle school kids walk behind where they sit, talking loudly about how they saw a cop throw up in a wastebasket at Junes yesterday. _

 

_ A cat runs across the riverbank, tearing up several small flowers near the edge of the river.  _

 

_ Souji starts to bleed from where he has bitten his fingernail too far in.  _

 

_ “Yeah, Chie.” _

 

—

 

_ April 28, 2011 _

 

“Listen man, I’m tellin’ ya, one time I was out helpin’ Daisuke on the field, and next thing I know, I’m in the nurse’s office with blood all over my clothes! But,” Kou pauses, slurping up a few noodles and slamming his chopsticks down, “that lady, at the store near here, whatever shit she gave me, it really worked!” 

 

Daisuke grimaces, gingerly touching his bandaid covered nose. 

 

“I dunno… What do you think, Souji? Think that lady’s selling something illegal, or should I buy from her?” he asks. 

 

“Kou is right. That woman is some kind of goddess when it comes to medicine,” Souji answers, relishing in the warm steam from the ramen bowl before him. It was pleasant during the late spring evening, and almost contented him enough into sleep. 

 

“You’ve seriously bought from her?”

 

“Ha! Told ya!” 

Daisuke and Kou speak at the same time, Kou banging his hands against the table loud enough to get a cold glare from the Aiya owner. 

 

“I have bad allergies,” Souji shrugs, which wasn’t a lie. As much as he loved cats, the adorable things made him itch all over his body like ants were covering him head to toe. 

 

“Here you go, Ichijo. One Rainy Day Special,” Aiko interrupts the three, handing Kou a large bowl from across the counter. 

 

“Dammit, I shouldn’t have ordered this, I’m too full now. Daisuke, Souji, just take some home, I don’t care about the challenge,” Kou grumbles, looking pale.

 

“The hell are you saying, man? I’m eating my share right now,” Daisuke replies, shoveling a small mountain of noodles and beef onto his plate. 

__

“You’re fuckin’ disgusting,” Kou sighs. 

 

—

 

_ April 30, 2011 _

 

“What, I got somethin’ on my face?! Stop fuckin’ staring at me and move on!” Kanji yells, stomping away from the bathroom mirror and back out into the halls of Yasogami. 

 

Yosuke looks to Souji at the sink next to him, taken slightly aback.

 

“Damn, I was just looking at his piercings. Wonder if they even allow all those things here,” Yosuke says, wringing his hands.

 

“You wear headphones everyday,” Souji points out, drying his hands with a towel. 

 

“Smartass,” Yosuke retorts, flinging excess water off his hands and into Souji’s face.

 

It was the first time Souji had even seen Kanji at school, which was strange, because he doesn’t remember Kanji showing up at school often until later in May. Souji noted he still sported the plush keychains on his backpack though, which made him smile fondly. With all the knitting, sewing, and crocheting Kanji had taught him last time, Souji could probably show Kanji himself a thing or two he didn’t already know. 

 

He glances warily at Yosuke, thinking of the camping trip, and all the other times Yosuke had unnecessarily put Kanji down. 

 

It wasn’t right in the slightest. Kanji was their  _ friend _ , and yet was routinely mocked by those he called so. Why was Yosuke so hung up on Kanji’s sexuality? 

 

_ Why can’t he just leave it? _

 

“Is it just me, or does it smell like there’s some good food up here?” Yosuke asks, opening the door to the school rooftop. 

 

Lo and behold, there were Chie and Yukiko with their soba bowls, while Saki ate out of a bento box. Souji blushes at the memory of eating all of Chie and Yukiko’s food last time. Damn, that was really rude. 

 

As for Yukiko, she had recovered at the same rate as last time. Seeing her healthy and laughing, sitting on the concrete short-walls of the roof, warmed Souji’s heart in a way he couldn’t describe. 

 

“Really, Saki-senpai! I seriously saw a first-year that looked like he had the measurements of Featherman Blue! He was really short, y’know, just like how he appears on television!” Yukiko says loudly to her new friend.

 

“Uh, but I saw a picture once where Featherman Red and Blue were standing next to each other, and they didn’t have much of a height difference,” Chie points out. 

 

Yukiko frowns deeply, almost akin to someone’s face after finding out that, no, they did not indeed win the lottery this time either. 

 

“Th-that must have been an edited image…” she grumbles, turning her head away. In the process, she spots Souji and Yosuke walking closer towards the girls.

 

“Oh, hey Souji-kun.. you like Featherman too, right?” she asks, a pleading look her in eyes.

 

Souji hums in confirmation and puts his hand to his chin, appearing as though in deep thought.

 

“Featherman Blue is definitely short,” he says after a few moments.

 

Chie immediately sputters and interjects, spitting some of her soba back in the bowl. “N-n-no way, Souji! You’ve got it all wrong!  _ Pink  _ is the short one, they probably just use someone short for Blue as his stunt double! And anyways…”

 

Souji smiles fondly as Chie rambles on, Yukiko growing more sorrowful by the minute, and Saki and Yosuke just sitting dumbfounded by the conversation happening.

 

It was so great to have all of them here right now, but they still had a long way to go.

 

—

 

_ May 1, 2011 _

 

“Partner, check this out,” Yosuke says, beckoning Souji over to him.

 

Souji had asked Yosuke to spend some time with him today in Okina, to which he agreed, and was now pointing out a cat patterned sweater to him in a department store.

 

“Now  _ that _ is right up your alley, am I right?” Yosuke asks, looking proud of himself.

 

“Definitely. You know me so well, Yosuke,” Souji says, admiring the small silhouettes of the cats on the fabric.

 

“Heh, and I haven’t even known you that long,” Yosuke responds.

 

Souji’s forehead creases a bit. Right, Yosuke has only known him for less than a month in this timeline. He needed to be more mindful of what he said.

 

“See, I like cats too, but dogs are more my thing. Like, you know German Shepherds? They have this…” Yosuke says to Souji, but Souji isn’t listening anymore.

 

Mitsuo was there; he was  _ right _ there. Right in front of him, looking at a brightly colored shirt that he had knocked off the hanger by accident. Although, he didn’t bother to put it back.

 

_ Fucking asshole. Retail employees work hard enough. _

 

“Hey, I remember that guy. He was the creepy one who talked to Yukiko-san, right?” Yosuke whispers to Souji.

 

Mitsuo proceeds to check out a few more items, then walks to the exit of the store.

 

“Yosuke, come with me,” Souji demands, grabbing him by the wrist and walking towards where Mitsuo was heading.

 

“U-um, okay, I guess…” Yosuke sputters, tripping over his own legs as Souji navigates him throughout the store and into the Okina shopping plaza.

 

Souji trails far behind Mitsuo throughout the plaza, keeping a careful distance.

 

He stops in another department store, again only looking at a few items, then leaving.

 

Mitsuo slouches when he walks, head low and hands in pockets. He pays attention to what is happening around him, but his facial expressions don’t seem at all interested. In fact, he just seems entirely bored.

 

After exiting the second store, he sits at a table of an outdoor food court, putting his fist on his chin and glancing at passerby.

 

“So, why exactly are we doing this, Souji?” Yosuke asks, looking out the window from a store they had decided to observe Mitsuo from. 

 

_ Because he ends up on the Midnight Channel. Because he’ll kill Morooka.  _

 

“He just seems suspicious to me,” Souji replies.

 

“Well yeah, but do we really need to stalk the guy?”

 

It  _ is _ pretty weird, and likely borderline illegal, but Souji needed to know if there was a way to stop Mitsuo before he even acted out. If he wanted to trail him, he would have to do it by himself from now on.

 

“Yeah, I see what you mean. Let’s watch him for ten more minutes, then we can stop,” Souji reasons, to which Yosuke reluctantly agrees.

 

Mitsuo messes around on his phone for a bit, then gets up and leaves, heading toward the train station. 

 

Souji sighs in frustration.

 

_ I mean, what did I expect? The dude to just start stabbing people out of nowhere? _

 

“I’m sorry, partner. That was wrong of me. Let’s just go back to what we were doing.”

 

_ I just wish this didn’t have to happen all over again. _

 

—

 

_ May 3, 2011 _

 

“Did you have fun today?” Nanako asks, looking over at him from across the table.

 

The two had spent time with Yosuke, Chie, Yukiko, and Saki at Junes, much like last time, except there was now the addition of Saki.

 

“I did, Nanako,” Souji smiles, “And you know, if you ever want to go to Junes, or anywhere really, just tell me and I’d be happy to take you.”

 

“Really?” Nanako asks with excitement.

 

“Of course,” Souji laughs, watching her bounce with happiness on the purple cushion.

 

The front door to the house opens just then, in walking a drunk Dojima, supported by a far less drunk, Adachi. 

 

“Uhh, hey you two! Dojima had a… rough day at work, so we blew some steam off afterwards. Whew, let me tell you, these Inaba bars are no joke! Nothing like back home. So loud, so musty, and people are always yelling and throwing up, Dojima being one of them,” Adachi rambles as he walks through the door, Dojima’s arm slung around his neck. “Oh, Nanako-chan… I was just joking about that last part of course, hahahaa.”

 

Souji and Nanako share the same frown as they watch the pair stumble into the living room.

 

“Put him down on the couch,” Nanako says, getting up from her seat to lead the two towards the sofa.

 

“Heyyyyyy, Nanako! Issh so good to see youuu,” Dojima slurs, reaching out multiple times to pat Nanako’s hair, but missing each time. “How wa -hic- shhool today?”

 

“It was fine, Dad,” she replies, putting a blanket on top of him as he gets situated on the couch. 

 

“Thashh so great. Adachi! Fetch me shum…. ummmmm…. uh,” Dojima trails off as he promptly passes out on the couch, beginning to snore. 

 

“S-sorry you had to see that again, Nanako-chan,” Adachi apologizes, scratching the back of his head. 

 

Nanako shrugs. “I’m used to it.”

 

Souji stares down at Dojima’s slumped form, bitterness seeping onto his face. 

 

_ The nerve of him, honestly. The one day Nanako asked to spend together, and he couldn’t even bother to show up sober for it.  _

 

“So, Souji, I haven’t seen you in awhile… are you enjoying school?” Adachi asks, looking around the room like he wanted to be anywhere else but here.

 

“It’s fine,” Souji replies, too tired to properly converse with Adachi tonight.

 

“That girl that went missing from your school, Yukiko Amagi, was it? Is she back now? She must be so scared. She came into the station a few days ago and gave us a recount of what happened, but honestly, the girl can’t even remember who kidnapped her,” Adachi states, the words seemingly spilling from his lips, like he couldn’t even stop them. “It’s still an open case since we haven’t caught our culprit. He’s still out there; who knows if he might do something else?”

 

“He? The police know the culprit is a ‘he’?” Nanako asks, tilting her head.

 

Souji smiles inwardly.  _ Perceptive as ever.  _

 

“What? U-uh, no we don’t… it’s just a general term I use. Could be a girl, who knows, right? But me and Dojima-san will get to the bottom of it, don’t you worry Nanako-chan!” Adachi smiles, punching a fist up in the air slightly.

 

Nanako doesn’t look very assured, and Souji doesn’t blame her. Really, how did Adachi even become a cop, nonetheless promoted to detective? 

 

“Anyways, I better head home now. Another long day tomorrow,” Adachi continues, giving a salute in departure.

 

“Goodnight, Adachi,” Souji says as he watches him walk away from the doorframe.

 

“Don’t drink in the future, Souji!” Adachi shouts from down the street. 

 

Souji laughs, shaking his head. Adachi never ceased to amuse him, no matter the situation.

 

“I believe it’s bedtime,” Souji announces to Nanako as he walks back into the living room.

 

“Awww,” she grumbles, turning off the TV.

 

“Has Dojima ever read you a bedtime story, Nanako?” Souji asks, recalling the memories of himself reading to his cousin in the last timeline.

 

“Umm, a few times when I was really little, but he doesn’t do it much anymore,” she replies, heading towards her room.

 

“Want me to read you something?” Souji offers.

 

“O-oh, sure! Yeah, that sounds fun!” Nanako says happily, and a few minutes later, Souji begins to read her a story about a talking dog, knowing full well that in the very near future, she would build her own friendship with a loud, conversational animal.

 

“The place where the dog lives sounds so nice,” Nanako says as Souji finishes the story.

 

“It does. I wouldn’t mind living there,” Souji agrees, putting the book back on the shelf.

 

Nanako hums, concurring Souji’s statement.

 

“I hope no more bad things happen in our town,” she says, drifting off into sleep.

 

Souji pulls the soft, pink blanket around her tightly, turning off her bedside lamp.

 

“Me too, Nanako,” he replies.

 

_ I’ll keep you safe. I’ll keep everyone safe, I swear. _


	7. fog matters to you and me (but it can’t touch sherlock holmes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much fun! I’m really enjoying writing this fic, just wish I had more free time. WARNING: A little preface for this chapter: things get nsfw towards the end, particularly bdsm related. Souji has some brief graphic/violent thoughts. Besides that everything else is fine and I hope you all enjoy!!!!

_May 14, 2011_

 

_“Hey, do you see that too? There’s someone on the TV!”_ Yosuke announces to Souji over the phone. 

 

Souji stays silent on the line, weighing his options. 

 

_If I said I knew that it’s Kanji, would that make me look suspicious?_

 

_“...Souji? Uh, hello?”_ Yosuke echoes in his ear. 

 

_Fuck it, it’s important._

 

“I think I know who that is,” Souji says bluntly, watching Kanji move his arms erratically on screen. 

 

_“What? Seriously?!”_ Yosuke responds loudly, making Souji hold the receiver far from his ear. 

 

“Do you remember the guy we saw in the bathroom a while back? With the earrings?” 

 

_“Oh, it’s him?”_

 

“I believe so, he shows up pretty clearly on my screen. Looks exactly like him.”

 

_Not true. Kanji was merely a distorted mess in front of his eyes._

 

_“Woah, your screen is clear? I wonder why, cause mine’s all blurry.”_

 

“Let’s meet at Junes tomorrow to discuss it. I’ll tell the others,” Souji says, watching as Kanji gradually disappears. 

 

_“Sounds good, partner.”_

 

“Yosuke.”

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

_I love you. I want you here with me._

 

“...B-be safe,” he says, then immediately hangs up the phone.

 

Souji takes a deep breath. It wasn’t uncommon for him to lose his composure around Yosuke, as he felt comfortable around him more than anyone else, but somehow, it was much harder to keep his feelings under control this time around.   

 

He slumps onto the futon, listening to the sound of the rain hitting his window, and thinking about the fog that would appear Monday morning. The thought alone makes him wrap his comforter tighter around him and throw a pillow over his head. 

 

—

 

_Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick_

 

_“Did… did you hear already? They found a dead body.”_

 

_“We couldn’t save him.”_

 

_“They said… It’s Kanji-kun..”_

 

_“Rise-chan.”_

 

_“Mitsuo.”_

 

_“Naoto.”_

 

_“And… and…”_

 

_—_

 

“Nanako! I’m leaving!” 

 

“Ok, Dad! Have a good day!” 

 

Souji’s feels his heart breaking. _Nanako._

 

_How can I possibly stay on top of everything that’s to come? How can I make sure everyone is safe?_

 

— 

 

_May 15, 2011_

 

“Oh, good morning, Souji!” Nanako says brightly as he walks into the kitchen. “I made some breakfast if you want any.”

 

“Thank you so much, Nanako. I’m sure it tastes delicious,” Souji says. 

 

He watches as she moves about the kitchen, humming to herself as she places dishes on the drying rack. She looks so carefree, yet so confident in herself. Souji truly looks up to his little sister, her independence and determination bringing light to his darkened mind. 

 

“Let me help you clean,” he offers, walking over to the sink. 

 

“Oh, thanks!” 

 

A moment passes, nothing but the sound of water hitting ceramic. 

 

“Would you like to hang out with me and my friends today, at Junes?”

 

“R-really?!” 

 

Souji nods his head, placing a dish on the rack. 

 

“That sounds like so much fun! Of course!”

 

And so an hour later sees Souji and his sister pulling up a chair at the Junes food court alongside his friends: Yosuke, Yukiko, Chie, and Saki. 

 

“Everyone, this is my cousin, Nanako,” Souji says to the group. Chie and Yosuke knew who she was already, but not properly.

 

A chorus of greetings go around the table, and an unspoken agreement is settled between them that they would take a moment of time to enjoy the company before delving into business. 

 

About a half hour passes before Nanako speaks up. “Um, Souji, there’s this arcade game I like to play here. Do you mind if I go play for a little bit?” 

 

“Sure, Nanako, that’s fine. If you need anything, I’ll be right here, ok?” Souji affirms her. 

 

She nods her head once, smiling, then breaks out into a run over to the game room inside. 

 

The five look at each other knowingly. 

 

“I know who was on the TV last night,” Souji opens. “It was Kanji Tatsumi, one of our junior peers. He showed up clear as day on my side; I could make out everything.”

 

“Kanji Tatsumi? The biker guy?” Chie asks, scratching her wrist. 

 

“Ah, I know him,” Saki says. 

 

“You do?” Souji asks genuinely. He had no idea Saki and Kanji knew each other. 

 

“Yes, he’s started coming to the Home Economics club,” she replies. 

 

“Home Ec? This biker guy goes there?” Yosuke asks. 

 

“I thought it was strange too, but he seems to really enjoy sewing and knitting, and he’s very good at it! I’ve seen some of his work,” she replies, folding her hands on the table. 

 

“Huh, alright then,” Chie says dumbfoundedly, while Yosuke fiddles with his headphones. 

 

“Souji-kun, your TV wasn’t blurry at all?” Yukiko asks with a frown. 

 

_It was, Yukiko._

 

He shakes his head. 

 

“Everyone else’s was blurry though, right?” Yosuke asks the girls, who all affirm. “I wonder why.”

 

Souji lets a few moments pass, before pulling out his made up excuse.

 

“Maybe it has to do with how I got my Persona first,” he says, furrowing his brows. 

 

He hated lying to his friends, but this was the only way he could expedite the process of saving everyone. Otherwise, it would take days just to find out where Kanji was located. 

 

“Anyways, no one is in the TV World yet unless they have that kind of ‘show’, right? Should we ask Teddie just to be safe?” Chie suggests. 

 

“I think that’s a good idea, Chie,” Yukiko replies, to which Yosuke, Saki, and Souji also agree. 

 

“Why don’t you guys go ahead to the Electronics section? I need to check on Nanako,” Souji states, getting up from his chair and walking towards the game room. 

 

Nanako is there, playing a police-chase racing game. Souji stands slightly behind the machine, waiting until the round is over. 

 

“Oh, is it time to go?” Nanako asks, getting up from the racing chair, looking forlorn at the thought of leaving the department store. 

 

“Not quite. How about we do a little shopping?” Souji asks. 

 

“Sure!”

 

And so they walk the aisles together, picking out various groceries for this week’s meals. Souji spots the tops of his friends’ heads as he shops. 

 

Kanji isn’t in the TV yet, and although Souji had already come to terms with letting his friends get kidnapped, there was no reason he couldn’t at least _try_ to stop it. 

 

_But_ how _am I able to stop it?_

 

“Whoa, look at these blankets, Souji! Feel them, they’re so soft!” Nanako says, eyes bright as she stands next to a pink and green blanket. “The sign says here it was crafted at Tatsumi Textiles, a local shop. Oh, I know that place! I walk by there everyday on my way home from school!” 

 

_Of course! If he is able to keep Kanji preoccupied with something around the time he gets taken, then surely he would be fine?_

 

_“He’s started coming to the Home Economics club.”_

 

_Home Economics club, it’s fucking brilliant!_

 

“Here, I’ll buy you one,” Souji says, picking up one of the blankets and feeling of it. 

 

“Wh-what? That’s ok. I don’t need it, really…” Nanako quickly backtracks. 

 

Souji smiles. “I’m getting it for you.”

 

Nanako blushes, smiling sheepishly. “Th-thank you.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Souji sees Yosuke walking towards him. Souji drapes the blanket over his arm and turns his attention to his partner. 

 

“Uhhh, so they didn’t actually have that game you told us to look for! Sorry man,” Yosuke announces, scratching his head. 

 

“Good to know. Thanks, Yosuke,” he responds, understanding the hidden meaning. “I think I know another place we can find it. We’ll talk about it later, ok? In the meantime, let’s go have dinner at my house. Come on, let’s find the others too.”

 

An hour later, the six of them are wrapping gyoza in the Dojima kitchen. Souji mainly hovers over Chie and Yukiko, telling them _exactly_ what to put into the dumpling. 

 

“Hmm, do you think a little sliced banana would go well in the dumpling too, Souji-kun?” Yukiko asks, putting her index finger to her chin. 

 

Nanako gives her a funny look. 

 

He really loved Yukiko and Chie, but man were they… something… at times. 

 

“Good idea, Yukiko, but let’s just stick with the recipe today.”

 

“Awww, ok.”

 

“Hey, I think that would taste pretty good too,” Souji hears Chie say quietly as he walks back over to Yosuke and Saki. 

 

After dinner is over, and Nanako has went to take a shower, Souji beckons his friends up the stairs and into his room. 

 

“Yosuke said Teddie didn’t sense anything,” Souji deadpans, looking at his friends scattered across his room. They’re all standing quite awkwardly, and Souji realizes this is the really the “first” time they’ve properly been in his room in this timeline. Yosuke and Chie had both dropped him off before, but that was completely different from now. 

 

“Oh, you guys can sit down anywhere. Sorry…” Souji says, taking his own seat on the floor next to his TV. 

 

Chie and Yukiko take the couch, Saki pulls his office chair over, and Yosuke… sits on his bed. 

 

_Of course._

 

“So… when we were making dinner, Souji-kun, you mentioned his mom runs a textile shop in town. Why don’t we start there?” Chie says once everyone settles into place. 

 

_Oh God, they’re going to want to do the “steak” out again._

 

“Hold on, Senpai said Kanji likes to... knit and stuff, right? Partner, didn’t you buy Nanako a blanket today that came from the textile shop? Why don’t we take the blanket there and tell them how much Nanako-chan likes it? Maybe we’ll see Kanji, and he’ll comment on it!” Yosuke yells excitedly. 

 

Souji smiles inwardly. This was exactly why Yosuke was his partner, his second in command. 

 

Souji loved Naoto, he loved all of his friends dearly, but Naoto wasn’t the only “brains” in their group. Yosuke was so much brighter than he gave himself credit for. 

 

“That sounds like a great plan,” Saki says sweetly. 

 

“Yes, I’m also acquainted with Kanji-kun’s mother because of the inn, so I could help with some talking points if needed,” Yukiko adds, eyes bright. 

 

“You guys are fantastic. Thank you. Yosuke, Chie, that plan is great. Yukiko, anything helps, so go for it,” Souji says, feeling heart-warmed by his friends’ collective conviction. 

 

Kanji would be kidnapped on the 17th, if Souji remembers his dates correctly. So if they were able to preoccupy Kanji that day, then there was no way he would be kidnapped. 

 

_What if something goes wrong? What if I can’t prevent it from happening?_

 

It’s something Souji ponders as he watches his friends exit the front door, walking their respective ways home. 

 

Saki is the last to leave, turning around to say goodbye to Souji. 

 

“Thank you for the great day! I’ll see you at sc-“ she starts, but is cut off as she bumps into someone walking towards her. 

 

“Adachi, will you watch where you’re going! Sheesh, how the hell you made it onto the force, I’ll never understand,” Dojima yells angrily, shoving Adachi ahead. 

 

Souji runs and helps Saki off the ground. 

 

“Are you alright, Senpai?” Souji asks, watching as a slight red mark appears on her cheek. She doesn’t seem fazed at all. In fact, she’s staring straight at Adachi, with a blank expression. 

 

“I’m really sorry! Man, I’m such a klutz,” Adachi sighs, fidgeting with the end of his tie. 

 

“Get inside already, you’re letting the cold air in!” Dojima yells again. 

 

“Uh-h, yes sir! Sorry again,” Adachi stutters, bowing slightly in Saki’s direction, then retreating inside the house. 

 

“Everything ok?” Souji asks her after a few moments of silence. 

 

“Yeah, I just… thought I knew that man from somewhere,” Saki says lowly, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. 

 

“Maybe he interviewed you at the police station, about Ms. Yamano’s body,” Souji wonders. 

 

A look of relief floods Saki’s face. 

 

“Yeah, yeah. You’re probably right,” she says, grabbing her school bag more firmly. “Well, I’ll be heading home then. Thank you again, Souji-kun.”

 

“I have disinfectant, for the mark on your face,” Souji says, ever the caretaker. 

 

Saki shakes her head, laughing slightly. 

 

“That’s quite alright. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” she replies, then turns around and walks away. 

 

Souji sighs, looking up at the night sky. 

 

_Orion is there. He’s always there._

 

—

 

_May 16, 2011_

 

“Oh hello, Yukiko dear!” Kanji’s mother says as the group of friends, and Nanako, walk through the door. 

 

“Good afternoon, Tatsumi-san,” Yukiko responds politely. 

 

“I see you’ve brought your friends,” Ms. Tatsumi observes, and the group all take a turn introducing themselves. 

 

Nanako stands behind Souji’s legs, clutching her blanket. 

 

“Hello, my name is Nanako.”

 

“It’s great to meet you, Nanako-chan! Ah, and that blanket! I do remember making many of those with my son.”

 

“N-nice to meet you too. It’s a very nice blanket.”

 

“Your son’s name is Kanji, correct?” Saki speaks up. “We’re both in the Home Economics club. He’s very talented!”

 

“Oh, you know Kanji? Yes, well, he’s always been attached to those sort of things. It’s a passion of his,” his mother says matter-of-factly. 

 

“Anyways,” Yukiko starts, “We just wanted to bring Nanako-chan along on our way home from school and let her thank you for making such a wonderful blank-“

 

She stops mid-sentence as the front door slides open, revealing a confused Kanji. 

 

“Welcome home, Kanji!” his mother greets, smiling happily. 

 

“Uh, h-hey Ma. What’s all this?”

 

Kanji looks at Souji and Yosuke, narrowing his eyes. Yosuke shrinks back. He remembered them. 

 

“You remember Yukiko-chan, from the inn?” Ms. Tatsumi says, gesturing to Yukiko. “She and her friends stopped by to comment on those order of blankets that we sold to our Junes not long ago.”

 

“Oh, alright then,” Kanji says, slinking around to the back of the house. 

 

“Do sit and chat, Kanji! Our guests came to compliment your work. I know I didn’t raise you to not use your manners, did I?”

 

“Tch, old hag,” Kanji mutters under his breath, rejoining the group. 

 

Nanako gasps from behind Souji, and the group’s attention switches focus to her. 

 

“U-um! Mr. Kanji, is that from Detective Loveline?” she asks, pointing to a pink wand pin on his school bag. 

 

Kanji blushes, diverting his eyes. 

 

“Yeah, got somethin’ to say about it?” he growls, but Nanako isn’t even phased. 

 

“That’s my favorite show in the whole world!” she exclaims, bouncing on her feet. 

 

Yukiko, Chie, and Saki chuckle at Nanako’s enthusiasm. 

 

“Huh? Uh, yeah, I guess it’s alright…” Kanji responds, obviously uncomfortable. 

 

“Oh, Nanako-chan, do forgive my son’s modesty. He adores Detective Loveline,” Ms. Tatsumi explains. 

 

“Ma!” Kanji yells angrily, “The hell’s wrong with you?!”

 

Nanako simply laughs in delight. “Then you must know the episode where Loveline meets Platinum Free, right? Everyone knows that’s the best episode!”

 

“What? No way, you’ve got it all wrong! Best episode’s when Loveline and Jonathan team up to defeat that one villain, hands down,” Kanji counters, not caring that he was debating with a six year old about a magical girl anime in front of his classmates. 

 

“Oooooh, right! That one is a close second!” 

 

Yosuke tugs on Souji’s sleeve. “Dude, what the hell is going on?”

 

Souji shrugs. “Dunno, but we’re getting him to talk to us.”

 

_Much easier than last time, too. Damn that stakeout. It caused far more problems than necessary._

 

Souji watches Kanji as he talks back and forth with Nanako. The tension slightly eases out of him with every word, and he even starts to smile a little. Souji thinks of the bathhouse, of flower petals and chiseled men, and how confident Kanji grew after facing his shadow. He looks at Yosuke, who regards Kanji with a strange face. 

 

Souji covers his nose with two hands, sighing. 

 

_Somehow, I’ll have to stop them from being at each other’s throats all the time_. _God, there was too much to do._

 

Saki and Kanji were talking to each other now, discussing the Home Economics club. 

 

“Do you remember last week when Mrs. Higashikata showed us a technique for the Continental style, Kanji-kun?” Saki asks him. 

 

“Yeah, I’ve found that to be really helpful actually! There’s a way to do it faster too, ya know, I’ll show you tomorrow.”

 

“Mind if I join tomorrow?” Souji asks the two. 

 

Saki smiles over at him, surprised. “Sure thing! Do you know how to knit too?” 

 

“Yes, but I’m better at crocheting.”

 

Kanji looks mildly pleased, but still a bit wary of Souji. 

 

_Great, if Kanji’s with me tomorrow, then Namatame can’t take him!_

 

Souji wonders about Namatame. He had no idea where he lived, or where he was any time of the day. If he happened to spot him, and confronted him about the kidnappings, would that make him look suspicious? 

 

_Obviously it would. I’d seem insane._

 

“Y-you know how to do that stuff too, partner...?” Souji hears Yosuke mutter to him. 

 

“Do what?”

 

Yosuke stumbles over his words, flustered. “Like, knit and stuff!”

 

“Oh, that. You should come with us tomorrow, Yosuke. I can teach you a few things. It’s pretty fun.”

 

Yosuke just stares at him. He didn’t have anything to say for the first time in his life, it seems like.

 

“Anyways, we should be going now,” Souji states to the group. “It was so nice to chat, Tatsumi-san, and to meet your son. We’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

 

“Y-yeah! Hell yeah man!” Kanji affirms, slamming a fist onto the table a little too enthusiastically, to which his mother notices, and places a gentle hand over her son’s. 

 

“Sorry, Ma…” Kanji apologizes. 

 

Nanako laughs at that, and grabs hold of Souji’s hand as they exit the door. 

 

“He was super cool! I can’t believe I met another person who watches Detective Loveline!” Nanako says later that night, as she and Souji pore over her collection of said magical girl detective merchandise. 

 

Souji holds Detective Loveline’s magnifying glass up to his eye and clicks the button at the bottom of it. 

 

_“Stop or I’ll pop a cap in ya!”_

 

Souji and Nanako stare at each other for a few moments, then promptly burst into loud laughter. 

 

Souji stands up, walking towards the door.

 

“Goodnight, Nanako. Sweet dreams.”

 

“Goodnight, Souji!”

 

As Souji lays down in bed, he flips open his phone, and starts to compose a text to Yosuke. 

 

May 16, 2011

21:47

> _Will you be coming to Home Economics club tomorrow?_

 

He lays his phone on his chest as he awaits a response. He thinks of Yosuke laying next to him in bed, breath warm on his neck. 

 

A vibration sounds on his chest. 

 

21:49

> _dunno if thts rlly my thing, prtnr_

 

Souji frowns. 

 

21:49

> _Please?_

 

Several minutes pass without a response, so he decides to call it a night. Oh well, he hadn’t expected a yes. 

 

Another vibration sounds just as he settles into bed. 

 

21:56

> _fine. u suck._

 

Souji giggles, _giggles._ Like a grade schooler. 

 

21:57

> :D :D :D  
  


He dreams of Yosuke that night, unsurprisingly.

 

Of long, slender legs sitting atop his thighs, kisses trailing up his neck and towards his earlobe. 

 

_“I’m so happy to be here with you, Souji.”_

 

Fingers caressing his cheeks, a thumb pressing into his lips. 

 

_“Suck.”  
  
_

And so he does, closing his lips over Yosuke’s thumb, licking and sucking like it’s the greatest thing he’s ever tasted. 

 

It is. It _is._

 

Souji moans against his thumb as Yosuke grinds his knee down onto him. 

 

_“You like that, partner?”_

 

_“I do.”_

 

_“Tell me how much you like it.”_

 

Souji gasps as Yosuke traces a finger from his free hand down his throat. 

 

_“I—gnhh… I love it, Yosuke. I want you to give me more.”_

 

Yosuke hums softly, regarding him. He takes his thumb away from Souji’s mouth and puts both hands against his throat, pushing down slightly. 

 

Souji’s breath hitches, and he coughs slightly. His body buzzed with energy all over and his head felt foggy. This was _good,_ this was _perfect._ He wanted more. He wanted Yosuke to press down harder, to suffocate him, to completely overpower him.

 

_“P-please… mmmhnn… please, partner,”_ Souji rasps out, whiteness beginning to cloud the corners of his vision.  

 

Yosuke begins to talk, but Souji can’t hear what he’s saying as a song interrupts him. 

 

_Been a little while but I’m still battling_

_Moving too fast while you’re just prattling_

_No time for me_

_No tangling_

_Hit you in the spot with no angle in…_

  
  
God fucking dammit, his alarm. 

 

As he hits his phone and climbs out of bed, he looks down and notices his “problem.”

 

_Six in the morning and I already have to deal with this, great._

 

—

 

_May 17, 2011_

 

“No, no, no, you’re doing it wrong,” Saki fidgets with the needle Kanji holds in his hand. “It’s under first, _then_ over.”

 

“That does make more sense,” Kanji says, eagerly following the pattern Saki laid out for him. 

 

The two sat in front of Yosuke and Souji at a large table, and seemed to be getting along fairly well. 

 

Meanwhile, Yosuke was not having a great time. 

 

“I can’t do this,” he sighs, putting his head down on the table in defeat. 

 

“Yosuke, you’re not even trying. Look,” Souji guides and Yosuke listens, lifting his head back up. “Take this end and line it up with the needle, but watch your fingers.”

 

Souji places a hand on Yosuke’s wrist, correcting his position. He blushes at the contact, thinking back to his dream. 

 

_On my throat, put them on my throat._

 

“Now, just push your foot down on the button. Look, you’re doing it!”

 

Sure enough, the sewing machine whirred to life, the thread unwinding and weaving into the fabric under Yosuke’s hand. 

 

Yosuke couldn’t hide a smile, proud of his work. 

 

“Man, you guys are doing pretty good,” Kanji compliments, holding up a knitted pink piece of fabric. “I’m almost done myself.”

 

“What are you making, Kanji?” Souji asks. 

 

“A scarf… for Nanako-chan.”

 

Souji feels his heart warm. This was going better than he imagined it would. 

 

“She’ll love it, I’m sure.”

 

Kanji blushes, pinching one of his piercings. “You think?”

 

The group finally decides to go home at around 6:30pm. The club had ended about an hour ago, but they decided to stick around for a while. Yosuke walks Saki home, while Souji walks with Kanji.   
  


Souji carries the pink scarf for Nanako in his hand, walking in comfortable silence along the road of the shopping district. The air is slightly chilled in mid-May, but still warm enough to be comfortable without a jacket. 

 

“So, uh, you’re a pretty cool guy, Souji-senpai. I know I said some nasty stuff to you before we properly met, and I’m sorry ‘bout that. I’m, uhh… not good with my… emotions,” Kanji explains, rubbing his neck. 

 

Souji shakes his head. “That’s alright, I understand.”

 

He looked down at his watch. _19:37._

 

Kanji had to be out of trouble, there’s no way he would be kidnapped now. 

 

“Well, guess it’s that time,” Kanji yawns, stretching his arms out like a cat. “Wanted to ask somethin’ though.”

 

“Go ahead.”

 

“You and that Yosuke dude… um, how do I put this? Are you guys, like, dating?”

 

The question knocks the air out of Souji’s lungs. That was… completely unexpected. He doesn’t even know what to say, he just sort of gapes at Kanji. 

 

“Whoa, whoa, sorry dude. My mistake, you guys just seemed pretty close, and were callin’ each other ‘partner’, so,” Kanji backtracks, becoming nervous.

 

“N-no it’s not that. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that question,” Souji starts, being careful with his words. “We aren’t dating. And… it’s a nickname”

 

“Huh, alright then. Dude sure seems infatuated with you, though. Even if you don’t swing that way, it’s probably good knowledge.”

 

_Kanji… have you taken drugs or something?_

 

Again, Souji cannot form words with his mouth. All he can do is open and close his mouth repeatedly, feeling sweat start to collect on his palms.  
  


“Sorry, I think I said too much. I’ll see ya tomorrow, Senpai. Oh, and lemme know what Nanako thinks of the scarf?” Kanji asks, opening the sliding door of his house. 

 

“Ri-right, sure. Goodnight, Kanji.”

 

He stands outside Kanji’s door for several minutes, running through the insane conversation they just had. 

 

_Infatuated? With me? Kanji is not in his right mind, that has to be it. Probably because of his shadow. Yeah, that makes sense._

 

Souji thinks back again to his dream, feeling the air around him suddenly become 10 degrees warmer. 

 

_“I’m so happy to be here with you, Souji.”_

 

“Souji?” a voice breaks him from his thoughts. He jumps. _Namatame. Namatame. Namatame._

 

“Ah, sorry to scare you. You just looked a little lost. You still know how to get back to Dojima’s, yeah?”

 

Adachi was there, in the middle of the street, his brow furrowed and tie crooked as always. 

 

Souji sighs in relief, glad that Namatame hadn’t just stuffed him into a body bag. 

 

“Hey, Adachi-san. I’m fine, was just walking a friend home.”

 

Adachi nods, taking a sip from the can of soda he holds. He gestures to the scarf in Souji’s hand. “Whatcha got there?” 

 

“Oh, it’s a present for Nanako.”

 

“I’m sure she’ll love that.”

 

Souji hums, the conversation coming to an awkward lull. He didn’t really know Adachi too well. Even in the previous timeline, he hadn’t conversed with him much, and had rarely seen him walking the streets of Inaba. 

 

“Um, so what are _you_ doing out, Adachi-san? Patrol?” Souji asks, wondering _why in the world_ he was having a conversation with Tohru Adachi at 8pm in the middle of the street.

 

“Me? No, nothing like that. I just get restless sometimes. Heh, I do remember my patrol days, though.”

 

“The caffeine won’t help with that,” Souji points out, gesturing to his soda can. 

 

Adachi chuckles. “Yeah, guilty pleasures, gotta love ‘em.”

 

A beat passes. 

 

“We have some non-caffeinated tea at the house with chamomile in it. It’s good for that sort of stuff. I get it from the Shiroku shop down here,” Souji says, tilting his head down the road. “You’re welcome to try it out next time you’re over.”

 

“Y’know, that idea doesn’t sound half bad, kid. Thanks.”

 

Souji smiles politely. “I’d better be getting home then. Goodnight, Adachi-san.”

 

“Goodnight, Souji. Don’t be like me, get some rest!”

 

Souji laughs, feeling a familiar warmth settle into his heart. 

 

_A social link? But I don’t have one of those with Adachi…_

 

An image of “The Jester” arcana floods Souji’s mind, making its newfound home in his heart. 

 

That was _definitely_ new. Next to Saki’s life, and the conversation he just had with Kanji, this was probably the strangest thing that had happened in this timeline so far. 

 

Two new social links, what was going on?

 

As Souji slips his shoes off at the doorway of his home, his phone buzzes in his pocket. A message from Yosuke to him, Saki, Chie, and Yukiko. 

 

20:18

_ > midnght chnnl evry1, dnt frget _

 

Kanji wouldn’t be there, Souji was sure of it, but just for good measure, he would stay up and watch. 

 

The thunder rumbled lowly outside, flashes of lightning illuminating Souji’s room intermittently. Izanagi stirred wildly in his heart as he usually did during a thunderstorm. 

 

00:00 flashes on his bedside clock, and the TV switches on. A yellowish tint can be seen through the static, but nothing more.  
  


Souji exhales for several seconds, feeling tension seep out of his shoulders. He starts to compose a message to his group of friends. 

 

00:00

_ > Nothing to worry ab _

 

_“Good evening, darlings!”_

 

Souji feels his heart sink, his stomach pool with dread, as the words echo throughout his room. 

 

He doesn’t want to look up. He doesn’t want to look at the screen. 

 

His phone begins to ring in his hand, Yosuke’s name flashing on screen. He answers. 

 

_“Kanji! Dude, it’s Kanji!”_

 

Sure enough, when Souji looked up, Kanji stared back at him in nothing but a white cloth covering, blowing kisses and posing seductively in the thick fog of the bathhouse. 

 

Souji almost wishes the fog would swallow him whole. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Souji really said “ I Am Looking Away, 👀 I Do Not See It 👁”


	8. i am coming clean with myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Souji has some graphic thoughts and memories throughout the chapter. Pls be mindful when reading. Ok something major: I changed the name of the fic. The line is from reach out to the truth and I really feel like it fits the theme of this story more, I hope it’s not a big deal. In any case, enjoy! <3

_ May 19, 2011 _

 

“Souji Seta? I am detective Naoto Shirogane. I would like to ask you some questions regarding the disappearance of Kanji Tatsumi. If you would follow me, please.”

 

Souji focuses his eyesight on the police badge thrust before his face,  _ “NAOTO SHIROGANE”  _ ingrained within the metal, then looks at Naoto, one hand on her hip, and cap sitting low on her head. 

 

“Uh, sorry, what’s happening?” Yosuke asks, “We’re a little busy.”

 

“This does not concern you, however, it will only take a minute.”

 

Souji sighs. “I’ll be back, ok?” he says to his group of friends. 

 

They were planning on visiting the TV today and starting Kanji’s dungeon, but Naoto had intercepted them right at the school gates. He already knew what this was about, of course. 

 

_ I was the last person with Kanji the night he was kidnapped.  _

 

Naoto leads him a good distance away from the group and any other prying eyes, settling the two at a bench down the road from Yasogami. 

 

“As I previously stated, I have been assigned to the task of gathering information regarding the disappearance of your classmate, Kanji Tatsumi. We have reason to believe you are acquainted with Tatsumi, as an anonymous witness has stated they saw you walking with him near his house one hour before his disappearance,” Naoto explains, speaking calmly and clearly. “Now, Seta-san, please describe your relationship with Tatsumi.”

 

Souji thinks back to the previous timeline, one where he had sat with Naoto at a similar bench, talking amongst each other about childhood, gender, and deduction. She pulls her cap down further as she finishes speaking, folding her hands, and Souji wonders how lonely Naoto is right now. 

 

“I was walking him home that night. We had stayed late at school participating in a club,” Souji says, choosing his words carefully. He didn’t want to place suspicion on himself, nor Namatame for that matter, despite how much his mind told him to. 

 

“So you became acquainted through this club?”

 

“Through school, more like.”

 

Naoto nods. “Then, why were you walking with him near his house that night?”

 

Making something up wouldn’t help the situation; Souji knows this, and knows that the truth is always worth more. 

 

“Because of what happened to Mayumi Yamano and Yukiko Amagi.”

 

“Did you think something similar would happen to Tatsumi?”

 

“I don’t know, but I do the same with all of my friends. I don’t let them go home alone when it’s late.”

 

Naoto leans forward in her seat, never breaking her gaze with Souji. 

 

Souji does the same. 

 

“Seta-san, do you fear more of these instances happening?”

 

“Don’t the police? I mean, it’s happened twice. I think there’s a higher probability of it happening again than not. Shirogane-san, I also think wanting to protect those close to you is a natural reaction when crimes like these happen, don’t you agree?”

 

Naoto’s lips turn down ever so subtly. 

 

“I’ve gathered from your classmates that you transferred here in April,” Naoto proceeds after a pause. “Tell me, how did you come to care about these people so much after only knowing them for a month?”

 

Souji suppresses a laugh at the thought of telling her how  _ actually, _ he’s known them, and Naoto herself, for more than a year now.

 

He instead shrugs. “I’m a sociable person.”

 

A moment of silence passes once more, then Naoto promptly stands up and tips her cap. “I believe I’ve gathered enough information from you. I thank you for your cooperation. Well then.”

 

“Shirogane-san,” Souji interrupts before she can leave. 

 

She raises her eyebrows in acknowledgment, obviously not wanting to be in Souji’s presence any longer than she had to. 

 

Souji actually didn’t have anything interesting planned to say. He’s not sure why he even interrupted in the first place. Maybe it was a subconscious action, to keep Naoto close to him and his group. 

 

In any case, he needed to think of something. 

 

“I’m no expert like yourself, but… this town. Something seems off about everybody, right? I noticed it when I first got here.”

 

Naoto visibly frowns this time. “I can’t say I agree.”

 

Souji nods. “Right.” Because even though the general public does seem off in this run, it’s not like Naoto can compare it to the last timeline. “I’d better get going.”

 

He begins the walk up the hill, back to school. Souji doesn’t see, but Naoto stands stoic and pensive in his wake. 

 

**

 

It doesn’t occur to him until much later that night, as he lays in bed, that Adachi was present that night, shortly after he said goodbye to Kanji.  Adachi, in all his goofiness… could he be the “anonymous witness”? 

 

_ There’s no way,  _ Souji thinks, observing a strip of light filtering through his window.  _ He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Typical Adachi stuff.  _

 

It seems more likely that Adachi would clear his name of any suspicion, rather than arouse any. 

 

—

 

_ May 20, 2011 _

 

Kanji’s dungeon is more or less the same as last time, with its long corridors and endless streams of fog. He swears he fights hundreds of those policemen-looking shadows, and he swears he passes by the same rose covered pool multiple times. He can’t make sense of anything. Over time and practice, his body had built up a sort of resistance to the dungeons, to the point where he could spend hours in one and not even be phased. 

 

_ One train ride can change everything though, apparently.  _

 

His entire body is slick with sweat not even thirty minutes in, and he thanks his past self for always sticking water in with their healing supplies. Even so, he itches so badly from the heat to the point where it is unbearable, yet he doesn’t want to stop, doesn’t want to leave his friend in pain. So, he trudges on. 

 

_ That elusive thing I truly yearn for, will I finally find it here? _

 

_ A man’s… a man’s got this thing called pride... _

 

Pride. That’s something Souji can understand. Years and years of trying his best to meet expectations and to not let anybody down really has taken a toll on him, but it  _ is  _ him. He can’t just stop trying to please everybody, or stop caring about what they think of him. He has dignity, frail as it may be. He has pride. 

 

Sometime after the fight with the Gigas, Yosuke, Saki, and Chie get separated from himself and Yukiko, so naturally, Souji begins to panic internally from a slip in this timeline. 

 

“Teddie, can you hear me?” he says to the air. No response. 

 

He shares a frown with Yukiko, who fans herself, eyes sharp and focused on her surroundings. The gusts of air from her fan cause the fog in the bathhouse to dissipate slightly, giving them better visibility. “Something happened in my, um, castle too, correct? Where you all would constantly be turned around? Do you think it’s something like that?”

 

Souji readjusts the tightness of his school jacket around his waist. “You’re probably right. How about you take the front and clear the fog, and I’ll keep an eye on the back?”

 

Yukiko nods, switching her position. She walks with one hand slightly stretched out, the other fanning the fog. As they venture further in, the fog only thickens, and even though Yukiko is only a foot away from him, she is almost completely obscured. It makes him think of that dream, back in April, and the  _ first  _ April too, for that matter. Ever since that dream the second time, Souji has found himself having similar dreams, of trying to attack some formless thing, only to fail each time, and feel so utterly  _ weak. _ He would constantly wake himself up by punching his bedside table, the only one to ever connect. Even now, the bruises on his knuckles gravitate towards Yukiko, trying desperately to reach her, to stay together. 

 

“Souji-kun,” he hears her say, “I’m going to bring Konohana Sakuya out so that we can see better. She should be able to clear the fog some with her wings.”

 

And she’s right. Just the light that emits from Konohana Sakuya is more than enough to see one another, and the whirlwind of fog that follows improves their fields of vision significantly. The additional cool breeze does not go unappreciated by either of them, and does its part in helping clear Souji’s head. 

 

If he strains his ears, he swears he can hear Yosuke’s voice. 

 

“Let’s go left,” he says, as they reach a fork. Sure enough, five minutes later, they find Yosuke, Saki, and Chie, the latter immediately standing in front of Yukiko protectively.

 

Souji looks at Yosuke, the fog starting to gather again from the loss of Konohana Sakuya. He had removed his headphones now, opting to rest them around his neck. Souji observes the cable that traces down Yosuke’s front and feels his throat constrict. 

 

“What was that all about?” Yosuke asks, interrupting the genesis of thoughts that surely,  _ surely,  _ weren’t healthy. 

 

Souji swallows thickly. “Yukiko thought it was like that time we got turned around in her dungeon.”

 

Saki looks confused, so Chie clarifies for her. Saki nods when she finishes the explanation. “Maybe it’s a theme of these ‘dungeons.’”

 

“Waaaaaaaaah!!! Sensei!! Are you guys ok?!” suddenly sounds through the air, which makes everyone cover their ears and wince. 

 

“Ted, could ya maybe NOT scream like that?!” Yosuke whines bitterly. 

 

“We’re fine, Teddie. But what about you?” Souji replies. 

 

“Me? I’m fine! But I was beary worried about you all!”

 

Chie smiles wryly, wiping sweat off her forehead. “Thanks for the concern, Teddie.”

 

“Is everyone okay to keep going?” Souji asks, glancing at his friends, who all nod in agreement. “Alright then.”

 

Besides the fog growing thicker with each floor they ascend, the rest of Kanji’s bathhouse passes by smoothly. For everyone else, that is. For Souji, each level fills his head with more and more guilt, more despair. Yosuke claps his shoulder once after a successful all-out-attack, and Souji flinches like he’d been shocked. 

 

_ You’ll never want me the way I want you. I’ll always be filthy for wanting it. You’ll prove it to me… you’ll prove it to me when you see Kanji’s shadow.  _

 

Souji stares blankly at the door dividing he and his team from Shadow Kanji. 

 

“Something wrong, Souji?” Chie asks from behind him. He shakes his head numbly, and grabs the handle. 

 

And so, the group beholds Kanji’s shadow. He doesn’t look at Yosuke for the entire speech. 

 

_ “‘But you’re a guy.’ ‘You don’t act like a guy.’ ‘Why aren’t you manly?’” _

 

_ “What does it mean to be ‘a guy?’ What does it mean to be ‘manly?’” _

 

Souji feels sick. Odin struggles within his heart, and he brings him to the forefront of his mind. “Let’s go, everyone.”

 

Just like in his dreams, most of Souji’s attacks don’t connect with either Shadow Kanji or his men. 

 

_ Why is this happening? Why won’t my attacks connect? This is useless. I’m just going to end up failing my friends again at this rate.  _

 

He thinks of all his friend’s faces that day he got on the train. They were smiling, but their faces lacked any emotion. Their eyes were empty and unfulfilled. 

 

He recalls how the public started to behave after they,  _ he, _ had almost killed Namatame. Everyone was so indifferent, so aloof. One in particular, Souji remembers, was a boy about his age who was crouching inside the Junes entranceway, scratching at his neck and muttering to himself. 

 

His friends… if Souji hadn’t been handed a second chance, they probably would have ended up like that boy. 

 

Souji bows his head and swallows, listening as Saki’s attack fails on one of Shadow Kanji’s men as well. 

 

_ He’s walking down an alleyway in the city. It’s around 7pm, as he had cleanup duty and tutoring right after. There’s no noise happening around him, save for the sound of his shoes on the pavement and the fabric of his school jacket brushing against his shirt. This isn’t the way he usually walks home from school, but… he didn’t want to go home yet. Didn’t want to be around them. They’ll definitely give him some sort of punishment for coming home so late, but Souji didn’t care. He didn’t care about much these days. He knows exactly what he’s doing, a young kid walking alone in a dark alleyway. It’s almost like… almost like he wishes someone would come and take him. He didn’t care what they did with him. He just didn’t care.  _

 

_ He spots a black cat drinking out of a random puddle in the alleyway, and crouches down a few feet away.  _

 

_ “Please don’t do that, kitty. You’ll get sick,” he says to it, making a motion with his hands as if he had a treat in it. The cat is interested enough, and walks over to Souji, smelling at his hand. When it realizes there’s nothing there, it rubs its head against Souji’s hand instead.  _

 

_ Souji hesitantly pets its head and scratches under its chin. “I guess you don’t have a home, huh?” He scratches by its ears. “I’d bring you home if I could.” _

 

_ He continues to pet the cat for a few minutes. The cat really seems to like it, until it suddenly tenses up, its back arching. Before Souji can even wonder why, he’s grabbed by the back of his jacket and shoved up against the wall of the alleyway. The cat runs off in his peripheral, the sound of its paws hitting the puddles echoing.  _

 

_ He looks up at who has pinned him against the wall. It’s a tall man, with sunken, golden eyes. He has long, pale hair and isn’t wearing a shirt. Two sleeves of tattoos cover his arms, and a gun is situated in the waistband of his pants. The man’s eyes bore into him, and he starts to chuckle lowly.  _

 

_ “What the hell are you doing in my alleyway, pest?” _

 

_ Souji doesn’t feel anything. He doesn’t fear this man, doesn’t fear his words, doesn’t fear his actions, doesn’t fear the gun.  _

 

_ Souji raises his bored gaze from the gun to the man’s eyes. “I was petting a cat. You interrupted me.” _

 

_ The man’s eyes harden, holding Souji tighter. To the left of the man, a little far away, he can see another man in a green jacket, a woman in a white dress, and a few others. One isn’t conversing with the others, just leaning up against the wall, facing away from Souji and the man.  _

 

_ “Them?” the man says, glancing for a second at the group near them, “Those are my accomplices. You see…” he takes a deep breath, “we tend to get rid of people like you who wander into our territory.” _

 

_ Souji watches as the woman in the white dress briefly makes eye contact with him. She almost looks… stricken, but it’s over in a second, and she goes back to talking within the group.  _

 

_ “You don’t scare me,” Souji says simply, not even caring to look at the man.  _

 

Even corrupt people like these, _ Souji thinks,  _ they still manage to have friends. 

 

_ The man looks even angrier now, but just laughs again. He takes the gun out of his waistband then, and holds it out to his right, horizontally. “Jin, take this weapon away from me. I have no need for it.” _

 

_ The man in the green jacket walks over, and Souji supposes this is Jin. Jin regards him with a cold look, and promptly takes the gun out of the man’s hand.  _

 

_ “A kid?” Jin mumbles, then, more audibly, “So what are you gonna do about him?” _

 

_ The man smiles wickedly, bringing his hands close to Souji’s face. “You’ll soon see.” _

 

_ “Takaya!” another voice yells, deep and gruff. Souji looks to the left again and sees the man who was leaning against the wall. He wears a long, deep red coat, hands shoved into the pockets. He has long brown hair hidden under a beanie. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? He’s a kid!” _

 

_ The man, Takaya, lowers his hands. “And? What exactly is your problem, Shinjiro?” _

 

_ “It’s okay,” Souji speaks up. “You can kill me.” _

 

_ Jin’s mouth drops open slightly. Takaya laughs louder at that.  _

 

_ “Tch, stop tryin’ to act tough, kid,” Shinjiro says, putting a hand on Takaya’s shoulder. “Leave him be. You’re… better than this.”  _

 

_ Shinjiro didn’t really seem to mean what he said to Takaya. Souji wonders why.  _

 

_ “Since when did I start taking orders from you? Remove your filthy hands from me,” Takaya says, shoving Shinjiro’s hand away.  _

 

_ “Takaya, as much as I hate to say it… I think he’s right on this one.” Jin says, hesitantly.  _

 

_ Takaya looks at the two of them, regarding them with a look as if they had both just crawled out of a sewer. “You are simply unbelievable.” _

 

_ Takaya turns back to Souji. He stares for a moment, making movements with his throat and mouth, then spits on Souji’s face. Jin looks away, while Shinjiro scoffs and rolls his eyes. _

 

_ “Leave me, child,” Takaya says, which in hindsight, didn’t make too much sense, as he was the one to walk away with Jin in that moment, leaving Souji alone with Shinjiro.  _

 

_ Shinjiro takes a hand out of his pocket, tossing a handkerchief to Souji. He stares right into Souji’s eyes, but Souji doesn’t feel any malice within them. “Get out of here, kid, and don’t ever come back.”  _

 

_ Shinjiro walks away at that, and doesn’t look back.  _

 

_ Souji would go on to frequently think of Shinjiro after that, wondering what made him, a person that is a member of a group that obviously doesn’t mind killing people, spare him that night.  _

 

Souji raises his head back up and stares right into Shadow Kanji’s eyes. They were exactly the same as Takaya’s. 

 

He sets his brow, and crushes the card enclosed in his hand. He feels his bond with Ai, neglected as it was, and the urgency in Shinjiro’s voice course through him. “Seth, let’s do this!”

 

The attack connects,  _ finally, _ and Seth manages to get rid of Shadow Kanji’s men and do significant damage to Shadow Kanji himself. 

 

“That was amazing, Sensei!! Just a little bit more!” Teddie squeals. 

 

“Partner, that was  _ awesome!“ _ Yosuke says, looking at him in complete awe. The rest of the group’s faces look pretty similar. 

 

Souji feels himself blush slightly, and smiles. “Thanks, Yosuke.” And after a moment, “You too, Teddie.”

 

Shadow Kanji falls not long after that, and begrudgingly accepts his shadow, Take-Mikazuchi looking down at them in all his glory. 

 

“Poor Kanji-kun,” Yukiko says, watching as he collapses to the ground, breathing shallow. She casts a strong healing spell over him, but it doesn’t help much.

 

“Let’s get this guy home,” Yosuke says, taking Kanji by the arm and slinging it around his shoulder, “Partner, or Chie, help me out, would you?” 

 

Souji starts to walk over, but Chie cuts him off.

 

“Nuh-uh, not happening. You used up too much energy in that battle. Let me do it,” she says, pumping her arm. 

 

“If you say so,” he replies, letting Chie take over. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, they’re all struggling through the TV into Junes, waving goodbye to a forlorn Teddie. 

 

“Man, Kanji’s really heavy,” Yosuke breathes out, “You were much easier to carry, partner.”

 

Souji blushes for a  _ second  _ time that day, torn between liking and being very, very embarrassed of the idea of himself having to be lugged away by Yosuke. “He’s got a lot of muscle.”

 

“True that. I’m jealous,” Chie states. 

 

Saki shakes her head in the background, while Yukiko chuckles a bit, clutching her stomach. 

 

Souji checks his watch. It’s around 6:30pm, and the sun would be mostly set around 7:15. 

 

“Think you guys can get home before the sun sets?” Souji asks Yosuke and Chie, a little worriedly. 

 

“We’ll be fine, partner, you go home and get some rest,” Yosuke says to him, smiling warmly. Souji swears he feels his heart flutter. 

 

“Alright, both of you text me when you’re home.”

 

“You got it!” Chie says, and then they’re off. 

 

“Thanks for caring so much about us, Souji-kun,” Saki says as he walks her and Yukiko home. 

 

“Mhm, thank you, Souji-kun. You’re a great friend,” Yukiko agrees. 

 

Souji’s heart only feels love and care in that moment. “It’s the least I could do.”

 

He checks his phone as he arrives at his front door where two messages await him. 

 

19:02

_ > chie satonaka in da house!!!! _

 

19:07

> _ home, prtnr. dont txt me back, u bettr b sleepin zzzz _

 

“What are you smiling about?” Nanako asks as he walks through the door. She puts down her homework and saunters over to him, staring up at him with wide eyes. 

 

Souji ruffles her hair, sees Dojima sitting at the couch, newspaper in hand, and gives him a wave too. “I’ve got good company.”

 

—

 

_ May 23, 2011 _

 

“How’s that?” Saki asks, holding up a medium-sized poster. Souji was currently at her house, and they were making encouraging posters and knick-knacks for when Kanji returned to school. The two were spread out at the dining room table, homework long forgotten on the other side of the table, craft supplies left in its wake. Naoki glances at them every so often from the kitchen, where he is making something to eat. 

 

“I like that, but maybe you should add some more color,” Souji constructively replies. 

 

_ “♡ WELCOME BACK KANJI ♡”  _ currently resides on Saki’s poster, alongside some sketches of animals. She looks down at it thoughtfully, then reaches over for a purple marker. 

 

Souji looks at his own creation and frowns. There were a bunch of paper mache animals to match Saki’s poster, but something was missing from them as well…

 

“You should put them in a diorama, or a terrarium,” Naoki says, putting his plate of food down at the table and sliding into a chair. 

 

_ Now why hadn’t I thought of that, that’s a great idea,  _ Souji thinks. He tells Naoki so, who crosses his arms in response. 

 

“It’s nothin’” he says passively, but Souji can see a hint of a smile on his face. 

 

“There, finished,” Saki announces, capping her marker. She smooths down her poster before turning it to her brother and Souji. 

 

“That looks exactly like those tanukis you would draw on my homework when we were little,” Naoki says playfully, looking at the poster with a wistful demeanor. 

 

Saki huffs and turns the poster back to herself. “Can’t you ever be nice?” she says, but there was no malice in her words. 

 

Souji observes the two as they bicker back and forth. He hates to admit it, but when he looks at Saki, all he can think of is her lifeless body on that telephone pole, of the gathering at school announcing her death, of Yosuke’s grief…

 

And Naoki, who is smiling at his living sister… it’s so,  _ so _ foreign. He thinks of Naoki’s face looking up at the pole, of his tears and balled fists as Souji just stood by. 

 

_ “It’s okay. You can kill me.” _

 

Was it selfish of him to say those words that night in the alleyway, when his once dead friend, and her once grieving brother, now sit right before him? Was it selfish of him to once  _ want  _ to die?

 

He doesn’t want to anymore, since he has a purpose, but what about after the TV world? What about when everyone moves away?

 

_ Will they keep in touch with me? Will they still care about me...? _

 

Saki laughs loudly, and Naoki follows.

 

_ I’ll always care about them.  _

 

** 

 

That night, he has his first come-to-Jesus talk with Dojima. 

 

“You know what I’m talking about, right?” Dojima asks, waving his hand around. 

 

“Say it straight out, Uncle.”

 

“Hah, you’ve got guts!” he responds, obviously not expecting that answer. Souji had said something different last time, but honestly, his uncle needed to hear that. 

 

Even so, Dojima  _ himself  _ says something different this time too. 

 

“Your friend group… you hang around that girl who discovered Yamano’s body… and the ones who have been kidnapped, Amagi and Tatsumi,” Dojima starts, chewing on his cigarette before continuing, “What’s your aim, Souji? Why are you hanging around these people related to the murder case?”

 

Souji isn’t sure how to respond. It  _ does  _ make him look suspicious. 

 

He takes a breath before answering. “They just seem so lonely. Saki Konishi… she saw a dead body, that must’ve traumatized her. She needs someone to talk to. And Yukiko and Kanji are really misunderstood people, which causes them to not really talk to anybody.”

 

“Yeah, Souji’s friends are very nice, Dad! ...Please don’t fight!” Nanako pleads as she comes downstairs. She rushes over to Souji and gives him a look. 

 

“We’re not fighting, Nanako,” he explains. 

 

“Are you sure?” she asks, still looking sad. 

 

“We’re not. It’s okay,” Dojima says, smiling a bit. Nanako nods and clutches onto Souji’s arm. 

 

Dojima sighs. “Just… don’t get yourself involved in anything. This is serious. There’s a murderer out there.”

 

All Souji can do is nod in response, mirroring his little cousin. 

 

“Alright, get to bed, both of you,” Dojima says, picking up his newspaper. 

 

Souji looks to Nanako. “Want another bedtime story?”

 

“Yes!” Nanako says, jumping up and down excitedly. 

 

After reading her a bedtime story and making sure the covers were nice and tight around her, Nanako speaks up. “Can I hang out with you and your friends again soon?”

 

“Of course you can,” Souji says, “Me and Yosuke are hanging out tomorrow. I’ll bring him over so we can hang out with you. Maybe we can all go to the riverbed, how’s that sound?” 

 

Nanako’s eyes light up like the fireworks at the shrine. “Really?!”

 

Souji laughs. He loved seeing that light in her eyes. “Yeah, definitely.”

 

—

 

_ May 24, 2011 _

 

Souji spots Yosuke talking to Kou and Daisuke after class the next day.

 

“Hey, partner,” Souji says, grabbing a hold of Yosuke’s arm lightly, “Let’s hang out at my house today, okay? Nanako wants to see you.”

 

“Yeah, sure thing! See ya guys,” Yosuke says, waving to Kou and Daisuke. Souji bids them goodbye as well. 

 

“Are those guys…?” Daisuke says after the two were out of earshot. 

 

“Probably. Hey, what if I called you ‘partner?’” Kou asks teasingly. 

 

“Don’t even start with me, man,” Daisuke sighs as Kou laughs wickedly in the background. 

 

**

 

“Hi, Yosuke!” Nanako shouts as he and Souji walk through the front door. 

 

“Hey there, Nanako-chan!” Yosuke says, bending down so that he is level height with her. “How was your day?”

 

“It was okay, but now it’s better cause I get to see you two!” 

 

Yosuke holds a hand to his heart, grinning ecstatically. “Nanako-chan, don’t make me cry!”

 

She giggles softly, and Souji’s heart warms as he watches his two most favorite people in the whole world interact. Yosuke is so good with kids. 

 

“I’m going to make us something to eat, then we can go down to the Samegawa, okay?” Souji explains, opening the fridge. 

 

“Um, Souji,” Nanako starts, “Can we have a picnic?”

 

“Yeah, ‘big bro’, let’s have a picnic!” Yosuke agrees. 

 

“Big… bro?” Nanako mutters to herself. 

 

Souji looks over at the two. “That sounds great. Sure.”

 

“Let me help you out, partner.”

 

“Oh, me too!!”

 

Thirty minutes later, the three of them are sitting on a blanket on the bank of the Samegawa. They had prepared a nice spread of crispy tonkatsu, and the late afternoon sun and calming sounds of the river only heightened the mood. 

 

“Mmm, your cooking is the bessssst, partner,” Yosuke says, mouth full. 

 

“You helped me,” Souji points out. 

 

“Yeah, but,” Yosuke swallows, “I don’t put love into it like you do.”

 

Nanako giggles at the two. “I love being here. It reminds me of when me, Mom, and Dad would come when I was really little,” she takes a bite of the tonkatsu and sighs, “I wish he still took me here sometimes.”

 

Yosuke glances at Souji warily, then back at Nanako. “What happened?”

 

“He got too busy with work,” Nanako says simply, staring at the river. 

 

A moment of silence passes between the three. 

 

“Well, we can take you whenever you want, okay? I’m sure Dad wants to take you too. Let’s ask him to go with us one day,” Souji says, hoping to coax Dojima into being more attentive to his daughter again. 

 

“Are you sure he would want to take me?” Nanako asks. 

 

“Of course he would. He loves you, Nanako,” Souji replies. He really did, but he was the absolute worst at showing it. 

 

“Hey, look over there,” Yosuke suddenly says, voice quieting, “I think it’s a cat.”

 

Souji looks at the bush he’s pointing at. Lo and behold, there was a cat. “That’s Oscar.”

 

“Uh, Oscar?” Yosuke asks, lips twitching upward slightly. 

 

“I named him… and some others.”

 

Souji takes a small bag out of his pocket and pours the contents into his hand, making a clicking sound with his tongue. “C’mere, Oscar.”

 

Oscar bounds over to him immediately, taking the treat out of his hand and rubbing against him affectionately. 

 

“Wow, Oscar is big!” Nanako shouts, completely enamored with the cat. 

 

“I’ll say. He looks like a freakin’ leopard,” Yosuke replies, to which Nanako giggles again. “How much are you feeding this cat, partner?”

 

“He was already this big when I met him,” Souji says. It was true, Oscar had been a  _ big  _ cat when he first met him in April, to the point where it had surprised Souji. He had come to the riverbed that day in hopes of seeing the same cats he had seen the year before, but Oscar was the only one there, and was one he had never met, amazingly. The cat quickly grew on Souji, and he tried to come here most days to feed and pet him for a bit, which Oscar very much enjoyed. 

 

Yosuke had called Oscar over to him during Souji’s reminiscing, and the two were getting along splendidly. 

 

“He really likes you,” Souji laughs as he watches Oscar climb into Yosuke’s lap, something he’s never done with Souji before. 

 

Yosuke blushes, the warm sun above him making it even more noticeable. “Y-yeah, it’s weird.”

 

Souji takes out his phone and switches to the camera, pointing it at Yosuke. “Hold still.”

 

“Seriously?!” Yosuke bickers, blushing even harder. 

 

Nanako can’t stop laughing in the background, and Souji takes a picture of her too after he snaps one of Yosuke and Oscar. He looks fondly at the new pictures in his phone and smiles. He loved these kinds of days, where all worries and dark thoughts were far from his mind.

 

They end up sticking their feet in the Samegawa a few minutes later, Yosuke begrudgingly picking up Oscar and bringing him with them. 

 

“Me and Mom used to do this while Dad set up lunch,” Nanako explains, closing her eyes against the sun. She looked so peaceful. 

 

“I can see why,” Yosuke says, idly scratching Oscar’s head, “The water is so refreshing. I can’t believe I haven’t done this yet, and I’ve already been here for seven months.”

 

“Well, you get to experience it with us first. I’d call that a privilege,” Souji says.

 

Yosuke shoves Souji’s shoulder with his own playfully. “Watch it.” He doesn’t move it back though, Souji notes with giddiness. 

 

**

 

Later on that evening, Souji and Yosuke sit on the floor of Souji’s room, playing a multiplayer video game on the small TV. Souji loses for a third time that day, obviously not too good at shooters. 

 

“This game is rigged,” Souji states, watching as Yosuke t-bags his dead character. 

 

“It is not,” Yosuke says matter of factly, continuing to defile Souji’s character, “You’re just not good at video games.”

 

“Yes I am!” Souji says, a little too enthusiastically as it makes Yosuke look over at him in surprise, “...We just never play a game I like.”

 

“Oh yeah? What game do you wanna play, then?”

 

“...Katamari”

 

“What? Come on, man, that’s so old.”

 

“It’s not  _ that  _ old.”

 

“Yeah, it kinda is, partner.”

 

“It’s not.”

 

“It is.”

 

Souji stares at Yosuke for a moment, then reaches over to him for his controller. “Fine, let me be your character then.”

 

“No way, dude, my character’s OP,” Yosuke replies, holding the controller above his head. 

 

“See? So it is rigged!” Souji says, lifting himself up a bit to grab the controller.

 

Yosuke just brings it even further out of reach. “T-that’s not what I meant! What I meant to say w-“

 

Whatever excuse Yosuke was going to use, Souji would never hear it, as he loses his balance and falls right into Yosuke, bringing them both down to the floor. 

 

The two just stare at each other in shock for a few seconds. Their legs were tangled together, Souji’s hand had landed in Yosuke’s hair somehow, and their faces were practically touching. I mean, this was  _ pretty- _

 

“S-sorry! I’m sorry,” Souji apologizes, springing away from Yosuke quickly. 

 

Yosuke laughs nervously, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t looking at Souji anymore. “Um, it’s getting kinda late.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

The two make their way downstairs in silence. Souji winces at what just happened, watching as Yosuke put on his shoes. He really hadn’t meant for that to happen. 

 

They make their way over to Yosuke’s house, and Yosuke turns to him once they had walked a bit. “I… I had a really nice time with you and Nanako-chan today… thanks, partner,” he says quietly into the night air. 

 

“Anytime, Yosuke.”

 

A few more moments of silence passes. 

 

“It was… actually kind of funny, what happened back there. You looked so flustered. I haven’t seen you like that before,” Yosuke admits, laughing a little bit. 

 

Souji tenses and covers his face, but laughs nonetheless. “Come on.”

 

“Hey, I didn’t say it was a bad thing!” Yosuke says, nudging him, “It was... nice. You’re always so straight-faced.”

 

Souji looks over at Yosuke, who is smiling at him, and his heart does ten backflips. 

 

_ Why is him seeing me flustered “nice?” _

 

“Well… I like it when you smile.” Souji says in a moment of bravery. Maybe it was the dark... or something. 

 

Yosuke makes a weird squeaking noise and stops in his tracks. “Y-y-you can’t just  _ say stuff _ like that!!” 

 

His whole face was flushed, all the way down to his neck. 

 

“I just said it, though.”

 

Yosuke covers his face with both hands. “Gah, Souji!!”

 

Eventually, they make it to Yosuke’s house.

 

“Well, goodnight, partner. Thanks for walking me home,” Yosuke says, still a bit flustered. 

 

“Thanks for smiling,” Souji teases, watching as Yosuke grows agitated again. 

 

“Dude, shut  _ up!!“ _ Yosuke shouts, running inside without saying another word. 

 

Souji laughs to himself all the way home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [slaps the top of Souji’s head] this boy can fit so much trauma in him. He got some happiness though at the end, I’m sorry for making u so sad my son. So I went ahead and changed the names of the chapters too cause I wanted them to be more creative. They’re all from songs I like and that I think relate to the story. [Here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2tTEUvXLRLfCPQ11bdcGys) is a link to a playlist of those songs so far if you wanna take a listen. Also fun fact Oscar was the name of my favorite cat who disappeared a few months ago and I really miss him so his legacy lives on here.


End file.
